Why Senator Jonny Can’t Read
January 30th, 2010
Inspired by Sen. Kyl: Obama Speech Too Political (NPR 1/28/10).
NPR interviewed Senate Minority Whip Jonny Kyl
(Haven’t heard from him in a while).
Kyl says the President’s speech was too long and too political.
Why are Republicans always so critical?
But in saying that the President’s speech was long,
Kyle in fact wasn’t totally wrong.
This was the 6th longest SOTU in 45 years
And the clear winner for the last 10 years.
The top five were Dems too (we do go on sometimes),
Johnson once and Clinton four times.
At 71 minutes, Obama and Johnson tied.
He probably could have beaten Clinton, if he’d only tried.
For that, he would have needed to talk for 19 minutes more
(He could have added back the audience shout-outs he often did before).
But Obama’s still got at least two more tries
To win the SOTU time length prize.
Maybe the length of the speech correlates with accomplishment:
More on their agenda requires more explaining time spent.
Johnson had the Great Society, and Clinton accomplished a lot too.
Remind me again, what positive things did George Bush do?
Maybe Dems’ speeches are longer because they actually do more thinking
(It was the Republicans, I noticed, who talked most about SOTU drinking).
And talking’s a lot easier when you actually have something to say
(I was taught to think before I spoke, anyway).
But it’s the receiving end of the speech that I want to discuss,
In particular, the difference between Republicans and us.
Republicans out-yawned Dems two to one, according to the Post’s informal poll
(In fairness, that was before Obama really started to roll).
71 minutes may be long, but it’s still shorter than a movie,
Of which I’m sure the Senator is a frequent attendee.
If you can stay awake until the end of Beaches,
Can’t you sit through (without complaining) once-a-year speeches?
Republicans also seem to have a problem with reading,
But if Jonny and Johnny can’t read, are they still capable of leading?
Why do Republicans find reading and listening so tough?
Is it just that they don’t do it often enough?
The lack of desire to work is a recurring GOP theme:
It’s easier to obstruct and attack than to govern, it would seem.
Republicans always complain about the length of the bills they have to read,
But then why bother to read them when you already decided you disagreed.
And as far as work ethic goes, Obama seems to have his predecessor beat cold–
It’s only been a year, but he’s already starting to look old.
Bush, in contrast, set records for vacation time
(The Nation’s first President part-time).
Maybe it’s a pretty boy thing
About politicians who look good but don’t know anything.
As I’ve noted before, politicians with a nice head of hair
Often don’t have that much going on in there.
Is it fair to say Republicans are anti-knowledge?
After all, most of them have been to college.
Maybe they don’t read or listen on purpose.
But what for that would be the purpose?
Maybe it’s that if you reduce information inflow,
You reduce the risk of challenging things you already “know.”
No wonder Republicans complain:
Opposing views actually cause them pain!
That’s why Republicans like to watch Fox News,
Because it only confirms their existing views.
Fox only provides Dems at non-infectious concentration,
Immediately after which they provide right-wing medication.
Now, Senator Kyl, I understand,
And apologize for my previous stand.
To listen for 71 minutes must exhaust you.
I can’t imagine the mental strain that effort cost you.
But I still think you’re wrong–
President Obama’s speech wasn’t too long.
***
PS: The titular reference is to the 1956 book Why Johnny Can’t Read, which revolutionized how kids were taught to read.
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Tags: Bush, Fox News, Good hair, John Boehner, Jon Kyl, Obama, Republicans, SOTU
Posted in
Bush Administration, Republicans, What ails us |
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