Was Jesus Gay?

February 22nd, 2010

Inspired by Elton John’s Parade interview and this article.


 “I think Jesus was a compassionate, super-intelligent gay man who understood human problems. On the cross, he forgave the people who crucified him. Jesus wanted us to be loving and forgiving. I don’t know what makes people so cruel. Try being a gay woman in the Middle East — you’re as good as dead.” – Elton John in Parade


I don’t know if Jesus was gay,

But it wouldn’t bother me either way.

Nobody asked, and he didn’t tell,

But if he was gay, would God have sent him to Hell?


I personally don’t think God would do that to anyone,

Let alone his only begotten Son.

If in fact Jesus was a fag,

I think God would have been the founding member of PFLAG.


(Or maybe PFOX, PFLAG’s evil twin,

Which upholds that homosexuality is a sin.

No, I don’t think God would fall for that scam,

Particularly when it comes to his very own Lamb.)


People were even less tolerant back then,

Especially regarding unmarried women.

But Earthly Dad Joe was an exception–

He accepted Mary’s story about the immaculate conception.


According to the Old Testament, she could have been stoned for adultery,

And that would have been the end of that Greatest Story.

That kind of thing should have long ago ceased,

But unfortunately still goes on in the Middle East.


What if Jesus was gay?

Would it matter anyway?

It doesn’t change what He did or taught,

So why get so overwrought?


For Religious Rightists, they can’t help that because

It challenges what they think Jesus was.

But if they really paid attention to Jesus’ teaching

They’d know he’d be against their anti-gay preaching.


Jesus himself didn’t care much for Old Testament rules,

And those that slavishly followed them he showed to be fools.

He knew the true meaning and purpose of God’s laws.

He was the original rebel with a cause.


Maybe it’s true, maybe it’s not,

But if so, why should we condemn what God begot?

And if not, what about all the other gays God creates

Who some people continue to maintain that he hates.


Even if Jesus wasn’t gay, like Elton says, He was loving and forgiving

(That indeed was His whole purpose for living).

Even if it were true that homosexuality is against the Bible,

That Jesus would still love gays is undeniable.


And PS to Elton:

I love your work and have included video

Of my favorite Elton John songs below.

You probably don’t remember, but you met my wife

In that hotel elevator (you seemed in fear for your life).


You’re also right about the Middle East, by the way,

But not just if you’re a woman who’s gay.

So please join me in expressing your opposition

By signing my anti-honor killing petition.



This song doesn’t have anything to do with the post thematically (except for the reference to Jesus freaks), but it’s one of my favorite Elton John songs (featured in the excellent movie Almost Famous), so I just had to put it in. Check out the movie, MP3, and/or CD in our Amazon store), or download everything for free with the Real SuperPass Trial offer (the should have the movie on there too).


Here’s the scene from Almost Famous.


Here’s another favorite of mine, with Elton John appearing as the pinball champion in The Who’s Tommy (also a great flick, with both an Elton John and Jesus connection, because of the Christ-like imagery associated with the main character).


Here’s an excellent video commentary on the subject.

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Posted in Freedoms, Religion, What ails us | 2 Comments »

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2 Responses to “Was Jesus Gay?”

  1. Newsericks » Blog Archive » Sour Grapes (or, Married Without Benefits) Says:

    […] Was Jesus Gay? […]

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    […] What will you do if it turns out Jesus was gay? […]

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