Use Your Mouthpiece

February 16th, 2012

Inspired by Rick Santorum sugar daddy Foster Friess’s outrageous comment about birth control on Andrea Mitchell this afternoon.


“Back in my days, they used Bayer Aspirin for contraception. The gals put it between their knees and it wasn’t that costly.” — Rick Santorum sugar daddy Foster Friess today on Andrea Mitchell
In politics, as with any other contact sport,
Always use your mouthpiece (i.e., the candidate you support). 
– my humble advice to Foster


Billionaire Foster Friess’s comment this afternoon

Proves more than just that Foster’s a buffoon.


It serves as a highly potent reminder

That politics can be a perilous meat grinder.


It shows just why the super-rich are delighted

By the options offered by Citizens United.


But when you have such power, there’s a risk you’ll abuse it,

Like if you pay millions for a mouthpiece and then don’t use it.


Normally, one gives millions to a candidate like Santorum

Precisely to take one’s place in the media forum.


Yet this afternoon, inexplicably,

Foster Friess went on TV.


Foster, in contrast to you, Rick’s a professional,

Thanks to his long career Congressional.


Sure, Rick may make an occasional gaffe,

Providing the public with the occasional laugh.


But that’s nothing compared to your blunder today

All because you tried to be clever and risqué.


Remember, you’re rich so you don’t have to do

The things you can pay other people to.


You pay Rick to be your surrogate

So people don’t find out you’re such a git.


And remember, the underlings who tell you you’re funny

Only say so because you give them money.


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One Response to “Use Your Mouthpiece”

  1. Newsericks » Blog Archive » More Voices? Says:

    […] But the voices are the same ones, just through different mouthpieces, […]

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