The Tea Party Rap

October 17th, 2011

A follow-up to That 1870s Show, inspired by the MLK Monument dedication yesterday and the complaints from Tea Partiers that it’s inappropriate that the King statue is taller than other nearby memorials.


“Also, you may not realize that the statue of Dr. King is over 10 feet taller than either Lincoln or Jefferson in their memorials. Is that appropriate?” – Poston Politics commenter


“On the surface it’s just fine and dandy. But then I saw this article and it got me angry. Some of the facts:
1. The statue will be taller than Lincoln or Jefferson’s statues.
2. It was made in China by a Chinese artist, instead of inAmericaby an American.
3. It’s being plopped right by the Lincoln Memorial.
4. Do we really need any other monuments? Shouldn’t the only monuments be of presidents and wars? What are they going to try to litter up the Mall with in the next 50 years? And why MLK? Now are they going to have to find a Hispanic liberation leader? Asian-American? Native American????” — Krycek1984


What were all them black folks thinkin’–

They made Dr. King taller than Lincoln.

Lincoln was President, so it just ain’t right.

Besides, King was black, and Lincoln was white.


I guess it doesn’t matter – I don’t like either one,

Because King finished the job old Abe begun.

(Although with people like me, it still ain’t done,

At least not as long as I got my gun.)


But there are fewer like me as time goes by,

And smart as I am, I can’t figure out why.

It’s a conspiracy, according to the websites I read,

Which I why I still think the South should secede.


Now it’s time for me to leave for my Tea Party meetin’

Where we sit there and rant about Obama defeatin’.

With people like me leadin’ the attack,

I’m sure we’ll get our country back.


What, you think I’m wrong? Then get out and vote,

If you can after we election laws rewrote.

Then you coloreds and hippies and liberal commies

Can all run home and cry to your mommies.


And if we don’t win, then my friends and I are ready

To operationalize our Second Amendment remedy.

So you uncommitted better pick a side—

It shouldn’t be that hard to decide.


You’re either for Obama and the commie Democrat Party

Or for me and my friends in the G-O-Tea Party.

The choice is clear between the two,

And I know which one you’ll chose, because I’m just like you.


Commie Dems want to destroy the American way of life

And make me gay marry a fag and divorce my wife.

Those damned Dems and the Jews made me lose my pension,

And it was their fault I got that DUI license suspension.


If you’re wonderin’ where I get my views,

They’re all 100% fact – I got them straight from Fox News

If you’re wonderin’ if my gun’s legal, mind your own binnis,

Because even asking that question means you’re agin’ us.


So decide if you’re a real American, or one of “them.”

Are you more like me, or are you a commie Dem?


Don’t you think America should go back to the way it was before

Before that damned Civil Rights Act in 1964?

Those were the good old days, when minorities knew their place,

And we didn’t have all these damned illegals all over the place.


So if you’re sick of all this hope and “Yes We Can,”

Then come November, vote Republican.

And between now and then, if you’re like me,

Vote for a Real American to lead the GOP.


Or, just don’t bother showin’ up on election day,

Because then me and my friends will win anyway.


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