The Seer (or: How do I know Cain’s 9-9-9 plan will work? The Bible tells me so)

October 29th, 2011

Inspired by GOP Primary Voters Get On The Cain Train (Fox News 10/26/11), Herman Cain Wins West Alabama Straw Poll (Race 4 2012 10/29/11), and Herman Cain: The joke’s on us (Alexandra Petri 10/29/11).

 

“And one thing I would say is when you take the 9-9-9plan and you turn it upside down, I think the Devil’s in the details.” – Michele Bachmann at the10/10/11 GOP debate
 
“Beforetime in Israel, when a man went to enquire of God, thus he spake, come, and let us go to the Seer: for he that is now called a Prophet was beforetime called a Seer.” – 1 Samuel 9:9

 

Some have suggested that9-9-9is satanic.

What if they have it wrong and it’s really messianic?

I now believe Michele’s comment is unholy libel.

How do I know? It’s right there in the Bible.

 

In the 9th verse of the 9th chapter of the 9th book

(Click here if you want to take a look),

The Bible speaks of a Prophet, or Seer.

Could the meaning be any more clear?

 

Is there any way that Cain’s meteoric ascension

Would be remotely possible without divine intervention?

Is there any way he could be leading the GOP pack

If the Lord and Savior didn’t have his back?

 

Herman Cain is anything but a joke:

He is the Seer of whom the Bible spoke.

Far from being someone to be ignored,

Herman Cain has been sent by the Lord.

 

He’s been sent by God to show us the way.

It’s up to us to heed God’s sign, and obey.

How do I know Cain’s plan is by God inspired?

Why else would liberals to destroy it have conspired?

 

Additional proof that the plan is divine

Is shown by the thrice-tripled trinity of nine.

And just as Satan-worshipping liberals turn the cross upside-down,

Cain flips the demonic6-6-6completely around.

 

Thus as conclusively shown by the 9-9-9 verse,

Cain’s plan is clearly a blessing, not a curse.

And like Cain says, if 10% for God is fine,

Shouldn’t the government be able to get by on nine?

 

Just as promised by the prophets of old,

Herman Cain is the Seer whose arrival was foretold.

Herman Cain is the Seer we’ve been waiting for.

Thank God that we don’t have to wait anymore!

 

Have your election,America, but it’s been pre-ordained:

It looks like you’re going to be Herman Cained.

***

Here’s your theme music, Every Promise In The Book Is Mine by the Cedarmont Kids.

 

Here’s Michele Bachmann

 

NB: As reported by Race 4 2012, Cain won the West Alabama straw poll with 51%, compared to 45% for Ron Paul, 1% each for Gingrich, Perry, and Romney, and 0% for Johnson and Santorum. That to me is mind-boggling.

 

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