The Party of No

October 3rd, 2009

The Grand Old Party’s opposition knows no bounds. Here’s a compendium of things the Republican Party and/or its members, don’t support, don’t promote, don’t allow, don’t have, don’t want, or have opposed in the past. The Constitution? They only trot out that old thing when it serves their purpose (e.g., gun rights), but ignore it when it doesn’t (e.g., separation of church and state). Please comment on things that could be added, as I’m sure this is still only a partial list.


No economic stimulus

No jobs

No healthcare reform

No climate change action.


No gay marriage

No gays in the military

No gay rights

No gays (except maybe in the closet).


No Roe v Wade

No DC voting rights

No gun control

No welfare (except the corporate kind).


No immigrants

No Muslims

No tolerance

No human rights.


No environmental protection

No campaign finance limits

No financial oversight

No limits on lobbying.


No Department of Education

No Department of Energy

No Department of Commerce

No Department of Labor.


No separation of powers

No separation of church and state

No dissent (except when they’re dissenting)

No freedom of speech (except when they’re speaking).


No deficit spending (except theirs)

No unfunded mandates (except ones they like)

No bipartisanship (unless they’re in the minority)

No name-calling (except when they do it).


No investigations (except when they want to investigate)

No debate (except when they want to delay)

No filibuster (except when they do it)

No accountability (for them).


No “dictators” (except their own)

No “abuse of power” (except when they do it)

No race card (except when they play it)

No reverse racism (but the regular kind is fine).


No money (for anything but Defense)

No moderates (even moderate Republicans)

No morals (they just get in the way)

No majority (thank God).



No treaties

No negotiation

No peace.


No “indoctrination” (except when they do it)

No sex education

No evolution

No science.


No civil rights

No women’s rights

No Social Security

No Medicare


No taxes

No civility

No compromise

No government.


No honesty

No empathy

No mercy

No shame.


No plan

No ideas

No options

No clue.


No “socialism”

No Obama

No change

No hope.


No regulation

No rules

No reason

No rhyme.


No thanks.


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2 Responses to “The Party of No”

  1. Newsericks » Blog Archive » Ode to the Most Published Poet on the Web Says:

    […] That’s a lot more to offer than the Party of Nope. […]

  2. Newsericks » Blog Archive » Bust the Filibuster (or, Fix What’s Wrong With It) Says:

    […] So we can say good-bye to the Party of No. […]

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