Posts Tagged ‘Teabaggers’

Not a Rabbit, and Not a Hat

Monday, December 2nd, 2013

A follow-up to Not an Apple, and Not a Tree, inspired by Now’s report today on the Republican Party’s renewed attempts to rebrand itself.

Can Cantor pull a rabbit out of his hat 

“The GOP…needs to be able to answer a basic question. ‘How do we address the fundamental problems that people have?’” – Eric Cantor speaking to the Richmond-Times Dispatch yesterday
 
“Eric Cantor can always try to pull a rabbit out of his hat.” — Alex Wagner, describing House Majority Leader Cantor’s past and renewed attempts to rebrand the GOP to make it less repellant to mainstream voters

 

I usually agree with you, Alex, but not today:

Cantor isn’t trying to pull a rabbit out of his hat, like you say.

 

Sure, the GOP wants to rebrand itself badly,

And so is in the process of rebranding itself, badly.

 

No matter how hard they try, they can’t help but reveal

The true beliefs they try so hard to conceal.

 

Whether it’s rape or racism, they keep letting their cats out of their bags,

Not to mention their views on the poor, and how God hates fags.

 

(It doesn’t do much good to change your brand

When it’s what you believe that people can’t stand.)

 

So Alex, that’s not a rabbit Cantor’s trying so hard to extract.

If it was, he’d condemn the extremists the GOP still tries so hard to attract

 

Cantor’s comment is just more of the same old shit:

Republicans catering to the extreme to avoid a split.

 

Where’s he pulling that crap from? Not from a hat,

Though you probably already guessed that.

 

The place he’s pulling it from, of course,

Is Cantor’s crap’s customary source.

 

(Though that place is indeed hat-like if one considers instead

That that’s where Cantor commonly keeps his head.)

 

And by the way, there won’t be a “great Tea Party rally in the sky.”

That’s not where Teabaggers go when they die.

***

Here‘s Now’s 12/02/13 GOP rebranding panel discussion. Cantor’s quote is referenced at the beginning; Alex’s “rabbit out of a hat” quote at the 6”50 mark, and her “Tea Party rally in the sky” comment is at the 3”30 mark.

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