Posts Tagged ‘Monty Python’

Epic

Friday, May 20th, 2011

Inspired by Newt Gingrich’s press release in response to the right-wing criticism of his “selling out” Paul Ryan’s Medicare plan.

“The literati sent out their minions to do their bidding.Washingtoncannot tolerate threats from outsiders who might disrupt their comfortable world. The firefight started when the cowardly sensed weakness. They fired timidly at first, then the sheep not wanting to be dropped from the establishment’s cocktail party invite list unloaded their entire clip, firing without taking aim their distortions and falsehoods. Now they are left exposed by their bylines and handles. But surely they had killed him off. This is the way it always worked. A lesser person could not have survived the first few minutes of the onslaught. But out of the billowing smoke and dust of tweets and trivia emerged Gingrich, once again ready to lead those who won’t be intimated by the political elite and are ready to take on the challengesAmericafaces.” – Newt Gingrich spokesman Rick Tyler

An epic hero like Newt

Deserves an epic tale.

And so Newt’s squire gives us one

Of the foes who his Lord assail.

Or should that be an elegy

(A political one, at least),

Lest Newt be slain instead

Of the hateful beast?

Would all politicians

Would be so brave

And against their foes

Such battle gave.

But only one

Meets that standard–

Lo he hoists

His holy standard.

But yay, it’s fellow Republicans

Who rally to oppose him.

Attacking the hero brutally

Of his kingship to depose him.

Wait, gentle reader,

What’s that you say?

Newt turned tail

And ran away?

I’m sure Newt had

His rationale,

And in the end

Victoriously reign shall.

Alas for all you

Who in your knavery

Don’t recognize

Newt’s unyielding bravery.

***

Here’s Stephen Colbert’s 5/19/11 report on the lamestream media’s unfair attack on Newt and Newt’s blistering press release, as read by John Lithgow.

The Colbert Report
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Here’s Rachel’s take on the Gingrich campaign’s statement.