Posts Tagged ‘Meet the Press’

Breaking Up

Sunday, September 21st, 2014

Inspired by the new Obama break-up commercial that just aired during Meet the Press today, a not-too-subtle attempt to woo young female voters. Here’s how it should be rewritten in order to better reflect reality.


Multimillionaire winery owner John Jordan version (he’s the guy who created and funded the ad, through his front group Americans for Shared Prosperity): An attractive young woman (let’s call her “Maureen”) talks directly to camera. “In 2008, I fell in love. His online profile made him seem so perfect: smart, handsome, charming, articulate, all the right values. I trusted him. But by 2012, our relationship was in trouble, but I stuck with it, because he promised he’d be better. He’s great at promises. He told me we’d be safe. Have you looked at the news? He’s in my email and text messages, spying on me but ignoring real threats. He said that we’d finally get on our feet financially—I’ll never pay down what he spent. He thinks the only thing I care about is free birth control, but he won’t even let me keep my own doctor. I know I’m stuck with Barack for two more years. I get that. But I’m not stuck with his friends. I’m looking for someone who gets that this isn’t about him. It’s about us.”
My version: An attractive young woman (“Maureen”) talks directly to camera. “It’s time for me to break up with you, President Obama. I know, you say you care about me and you did save me from that abusive relationship I was in, but my friend John told me that you cheated on me. And why should he lie?” (Cut to picture of John, wearing a wife-beater and drinking a bear; John smiles creepily, holds up a picture of Maureen, and then licks it slowly. The camera cuts back to Maureen.) “I know that John was arrested for aggravated assault for beating up his last girlfriend, but she didn’t even end up pressing charges, so what’s the big deal? Anyway, John says it was really Obama who beat her up, and that John would never do anything like that to me.”


Don’t be fooled by what that guy says—

It’s just another attempt to undermine the Pres.


And in spite of the feminine face doing the mocking,

Make no mistake—that’s John Jordan talking.


He’s trying to get you to blame Obama for things he didn’t do,

And you know he doesn’t care about what’s best for you.


(Americans for Shared Prosperity, like all those astroturf public policy centers

Just wants to share prosperity with other point-one percenters.)


So please, don’t be fooled, Maureen.

Vote Dem in 2014.


Here’s the Americans for Shared Prosperity “Dating Profile” ad. If anyone out there wants to remake it with my script, feel free (leave me a comment with the link, and I’ll add it to my website).


Here’s the RNC 2012 Obama break-up commercial. It didn’t work then, and it won’t work now. (If anything, the new ad is even more condescending, deceitful, and creepy than the 2012 one.)


Sphere: Related Content

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Republicans | 2 Comments »