March 10th, 2012


If you’re a Stupid White Male

I hope the last 300 years were fun,

Because your uncontested rule

Is now almost done.


Of course, your ideal world

Was never really true.

It’s just that now nobody

Is automatically lower than you.


I myself am white and male,

But at least I’m not dumb.

I’m OK with women and minorities in charge,

And that we a more open society become.


I’ve personally had minority and female bosses

As well as many male and/or white,

And I’ve found no correlation between those factors

And who’s more often wrong or right.


As Dr. King taught,

We should never presume

That one’s life should be determined

By skin color or presence of a womb.


Having more women and minorities around

Really’s no big deal.

When you fight it then you just

Your own stupidity reveal.


Besides, all you fearful white males:

Women and minorities aren’t trying

White males from jobs

Or positions of leadership denying.


They’re not trying to exclude us

As we excluded them,

Which makes it pretty hypocritical

Giving them opportunity to condemn.


(I get that you SWMs believe,

They’ll do the same thing you did,

But not only aren’t they trying to,

But our laws that behavior forbid.)


So if you’re a hard-working

And/or intelligent white male,

Don’t worry that minorities and women

You from your life path will derail.


In fact, they are more likely to help you

Get personally ahead.

(Would you rather work with a dumb white guy,

Or smart minority or woman instead?)


But if you’re a stupid white male,

I’m afraid your fears are well-founded:

You’ll just need to work a little harder,

Or become more educationally well-rounded.


Remember, just because someone else succeeds

Doesn’t mean you lose.

After all, a lot of those minorities and women do

A job that you refuse.


And for all you SWM

Modern America haters,

Remember that many of those minorities and women

Are actual job creators.


So if you have one of them as your boss

And aren’t particularly overjoyed,

Your choice isn’t to be the boss yourself,

It’s to be unemployed.


And for those of you who say

It’s just because they’re given special rights,

Do you think there should be quotas

For stupid males and whites?


And remember, my SWM friends:

You can be born white and male,

But you can only make yourself stupid,

And hence make yourself fail.


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