Stopping for an Abortion on a Busy Evening

February 23rd, 2011

Inspired by Michele Bachmann’s latest anti-abortion rights pronouncement, with apologies to Robert Frost

Sarah Stoesz who has the Planned Parenthood operation in my state of Minnesota said she recently opened three express centers in wealthy Minnesota suburbs and shopping centers and malls and places where women are already doing their grocery shopping, picking up Starbucks, living their daily lives, and stopping off for an abortion.” – Michele Bachmann (R-MN)


Whose clinic this is I think I know.

Her house is in the suburbs though.

She will not mind my stopping here

To make an offering to the god of Roe.


Abortion’s wrong, I guess I know

But it’s so convenient, I just have to go.

If it weren’t so easy, I might not get it–

I’d just have the kid and then forget it.


I won’t give it any thought,

Just like the skim chai latte that I bought.

As you know, all we Pro-Choicers

Are just thoughtless baby killing rejoicers.


The clinic’s convenient, clean, and cheap,

Because of subsidies taxpayers on Planned Parenthood heap.

I’m only getting this abortion because it’s cheaper

Than it would be if the baby were a keeper.


Still, I’ve got to abort in a hurry

Before I start to reconsider or worry:

If I did, I might have a second thought

About terminating what God begot.


Some say making me see the ultrasound would be demeaning,

But I know those requirements are just well-meaning.

And I have miles to go before picking up my dry-cleaning;

Miles to go before picking up my dry-cleaning.


Here’s Jon Stewart’s 2/22/11 report.

The Daily Show – Mother F#@kers
Tags: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook


Click here to read the rest of our abortion rights series and sign petitions protesting the increasing assault on Choice and women’s reproductive rights.

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5 Responses to “Stopping for an Abortion on a Busy Evening”

  1. Tweets that mention Newsericks » Blog Archive » Stopping for an Abortion on a Busy Evening -- Says:

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Newsericks, Newsericks. Newsericks said: Inspired by #MicheleBachmann (apologies to #RobertFrost) #abortionrights […]

  2. Newsericks » Blog Archive » The GOP’s Assault on Women Says:

    […] earlier piece on the guns-abortion nexus, with links to my other recent pieces on the GOP assault on women’s […]

  3. Dustin Says:

    Great poem! Thanks for the comment on my article as well.

    Maybe you can help me also… I see a lot of crazy pro life zealots calling pro choice people “abortionists” as if we’re totally up for murdering babies for sport… I’m trying to come up with a new nickname for pro lifer’s that’s as much of a simple generalization as “abortionists” is for people who support a woman’s right to choose – so far I’ve come up with

    “womb regulators”
    “fetus police” and
    “american ayatollahs”

    if you think of anything clever let me know!

  4. Newsericks Says:

    Thanks for your comment–it inspired my response at

  5. Newsericks » Blog Archive » Womb Raider (or: Your Body, My Choice) Says:

    […] response to Dustin’s comment to my earlier piece Stopping for an Abortion on a Busy […]

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