Speaker of the Louse

August 1st, 2014

Inspired by ‘Speaker Cruz is in the House — Republican Border Plan Is In Total Chaos After Conservative Revolt (Business Insider 7/31/14), Revolt within GOP quashes border vote (Paul Kane and Ed O’Keefe, Washington Post 8/01/14 page A1), Senator cracks conservative whip to stop the speaker (Robert Costa, Washington Post 8/01/14 page A1), Ted Cruz doesn’t care if John Boehner hates him. He likes it (Chris Cillizza, WashingtonPost.com 7/31/14).

Sittin’ at my desk,

Watchin’ the news,

Rest of the day

Is up to Ted Cruz.” – tweet from fellow political poet Rep. Jim Himes (D-CT)

[T]his is hardly the first time that Cruz has intentionally stuck his finger in the eye of the Republican leadership in the House and Senate… As far back as late 2013 — amid the government shutdown showdown — Cruz was acting as a sort of de facto ring leader of the tea party conference in the House. The key point to remember in all of this is that Ted Cruz wants to be hated by congressional Republicans, or, at the very least, he doesn’t mind knowing that they hate him. ” – Chris Cillizza

Louse: (1) A small, wingless, parasitic insect that lives on the skin of mammals and birds; (2) an insect with piercing mouthparts; (3) A contemptible or unpleasant person; (4) Spoil or ruin something.” – Oxford English Dictionary


Ted Cruz seems to have taken over as Speaker of the House…

Or maybe that should be “Speaker of the Louse.”


He meets the definition in all its forms,

And all the functions of a louse performs.


First, he’s clearly a parasite

(Martin Bashir had that right).


Second, he’s got those piercing mouthparts

Which he uses to suck lifeblood from his victims’ hearts.


There’s no question that he’s a contemptible and unpleasant person

(Even Republicans think his antics America problems worsen).


And the act of spoiling and ruining things

Appears to be what Ted Cruz the most pleasure brings.


He and those like him have created an infestation

Sorely in need of remediation.


So when you vote in November, just think how nice

It would be to get rid of some of those lice.


Here‘s Martin Bashir calling a character Ted Cruz played in a high-school play a “snivelling parasite” (the scene is at the 3” mark). Note that Bashir doesn’t call Ted Cruz that, as the right-wing press then began ranting about. He said that his character (Rev. Samuel Paris in the play The Crucible, by Arthur Miller) was. It’d be nice if right-wingers restricted themselves to attacking liberals for what they actually say, instead of attacking them for what the right-wingers hear.

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