Soul Man

May 22nd, 2010

Inspired by Author of Arizona immigration law wants to end birthright citizenship (Yahoo News5/21/10).


“And we’re not being mean. We’re just saying it takes more than walking across the border to become an American citizen. It’s what’s in our souls.” — Rep. Duncan Hunter (R-CA), expounding on his proposal to amend the Constitution to eliminate birthright citizenship and deport children of illegal aliens, even if they’re U.S. citizens


I understand,Duncan, that you’re not being mean.

I just don’t understand exactly what you mean.


You say you want to replace the birthright citizenship rule

With a new iron-clad test that no illegal could fool.


All you’d have to do is peer into the suspect’s soul

(Even quicker if they only speak Espanol).


Since we’re a Christian nation, Muslims and Jews will automatically be excluded,

As would anyone who inadequate American-ness exuded.


This law would also formalize what Tea Partiers already know:

Liberals aren’t Real Americans, and hence also must go.


(It’s OK if you sold your soul for financial gain,

As long as you contribute to the right political campaign.)


So congrats,Duncan—your standard solves multiple problems at the same time,

Now that being anyone you don’t like is automatically a crime.


Here’s your theme music, Soul Man by the great Sam & Dave.

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