Son of Pat

May 1st, 2010

As the article Where is Pat Gray of Talk Radio 950 KPRC? ( 11/21/06) apparently reveals, radio talk show host Pat Gray (Glenn Beck’s alleged co-host) has actually been missing since 2006. Who is the “Pat” that Glenn is always referring to?

“Yesterday, when I got off the air I had a conversation between Pat and myself and it led to a meeting last night…” – Glenn 4/20/10
David Berkowitz
Took orders from his dog Sam.
So who, really, is Pat?
Fox Haikus (by Yours Truly)

Who is this “Pat” Glenn Beck always talks to,

And what is he (or she) telling Glenn to do?

Who is this “Pat” to whom Glenn likes to refer?

Has anyone ever seen him (or her)?

But is it just a one-sided conversation Glenn will so often carry?

Is this “Pat” real, or just imaginary?

Or even worse (I myself am at the prospect agog),

What if it turns out that “Pat” is really Glenn’s neighbor’s dog?

Supposedly, “Pat” is Pat Gray, a former radio talk show host

Formerly from KPRC on the Texas coast.

He left his own show to join up with Glenn

Not too long after Glenn moved to Fox from CNN.

Maybe it’s no coincidence Pat “appears” only on radio

And not on Glenn’s TV show.

And unlike The Glenn, “Pat” doesn’t appear at events.

Like Glenn says, “there’s no such thing as coincidence.”

And notice that when you see video of Glenn’s radio show

It’s only Glenn on camera, you know.

If Pat speaks, you can be assured

It’s from off-camera while Glenn’s mouth is obscured.

Perhaps it’s for that reason alone

That Glenn uses that giant microphone.

But with a man of Glenn’s talents, it can’t be dismissed

That he’s also an accomplished ventriloquist.

If Pat’s lack of airtime is just Glenn’s reluctance to share center stage,

Why isn’t there even a picture on Pat’s Wikipedia page?

And why does a Google image search for Pat and Glenn

Results in only one image of the two of them?

Like Tyler in Fight Club, is “Pat” just Glenn’s alter ego?

(After all, Glenn certainly has a big enough ego.)

Should Pat’s actual existence be believed?

Have Glenn’s listeners again been deceived?

Lest you scoff

That Glenn such a deception couldn’t pull off,

Remember his mimicry skills rival the late Frank Gorshin,

And his ability to deceive rivals Martin Bormann.

So is there really a Pat Gray?

Can Glenn himself even say?

I actually hope “Pat” really exists

And not just of Glenn’s delusions consists.

Because if Glenn is hearing more imaginary voices in his head,

It might not be long before someone ends up dead.


Here’s a video clip of Glenn talking to “Pat.”

Sorry, wrong clip. That was actually another voices-hearer, killer David Berkowitz talking to his neighbor’s dog Sam (whence his nickname, “Son of Sam,” which is also the inspiration for our title) from the movie Summer of Sam (starring the excellent John Leguizamo). Here’s the clip of Glenn talking to Pat. Notice however that whenever you see video of Glenn’s radio show, it’s only Glenn on camera. If Pat speaks (which he rarely does), it’s from off-camera, and usually while Glenn’s mouth is obscured by the giant microphone he uses (watch the video below for one example of this).

Here’s Glenn on his 4/20/10 show talking about one of his conversations with the omnipresent yet elusive “Pat.”

Here’s a scene from another movie about Berkowitz, Son of Sam. Earily familiar?

Here’s another voices hearer, the “Tooth Fairy” (Ralph Fiennes) in the excellent movie Red Dragon.

Here’s a scene from another movie that Glenn’s increasingly messianic behavior brings to mind, the classic Network. Glenn makes the main character news anchor Howard Beale look like Walter Cronkite.

Or, maybe “Pat” is like Tyler Durden (the Brad Pitt character) in Fight Club (here’s a scene from that excellent movie).

And here’s a scene from the movie It’s Pat (based on the SNL skit, with a cameo by Ween). If Glenn’s Pat is in fact real, he/she could also be male or female (assuming “Pat” is both real and human). Will we ever know for sure?

Here’s your theme music for today, Hearing Voices by Suicidal Tendancies.

Here are two more relevant songs, Brain Damage by Pink Floyd (for some reason it always makes me think of Glenn when I hear it) and Manic Depression by Jimi Hendrix.

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Posted in Just for fun, Republicans, What ails us | 3 Comments »

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