Rich Uncle’s Idiot Nephew

August 31st, 2011

  
Republicans want to make 2012 another referendum,
Since people are unhappy (and then some).
But the election is a choice,
In which voters should rejoice.
Rejoice because the alternative is clear:
Hope and progress versus failed policies and fear;
A government that works for the public good,
Instead of just doing whatever big business and the rich think it should.
Forward, or back?
Cooperation, or attack?
That’s what 2012 just be about,
Not “things are still bad, throw the bums out.”
Yes, we’re still hurting, but things will improve,
If we the Party of No from their current positions remove.
Please whatever you do, please don’t allow
Them to get even more destructive power than they have now.
— Extracted and updated from Referendum or Choice?

 

Have you ever worked for a company where one of the wealthy owners arranged a job for his totally unqualified idiot nephew, and unfortunately he’s now your boss?

Idiot Nephew has assumed control as the company’s new CEO, and has brought in his own management team of highly paid idiot yes-men (plus a few token yes-women). They’ve got a hazy and strangely incoherent plan to save the company.

You try to explain to Idiot Nephew and his cronies that his “ideas” have all been tried before, and didn’t work. You’d think he’d listen to you, since you invented the company’s core technology, and were on the management team during the company’s glory days, and have decades of experience working at other successful companies, and have an MBA. But Idiot Nephew won’t listen, possibly because he hates you because you were being groomed for the CEO position, and were a shoe-in to get it until Rich Uncle used his power, influence, and other shady (and probably illegal) tactics to get Idiot Nephew the job. Through a well-funded smear campaign, Idiot Nephew and Rich Uncle also managed to strip you of almost all of your supporters and power, and you’re barely hanging on to what’s left of your job.

Did I mention the salary cuts and layoffs? Yeah, they’re doing a massive round of layoffs and salary cuts in order to be able to afford Idiot Nephew’s giant salary, and the increased dividend payments he’s promised Rich Uncle. The poor saps that are left have to do twice as much work for less money, and a lot of important tasks (like worker safety, environmental protection, plant maintenance, R&D, reinvestment, and employee training) have fallen by the wayside.

No matter: Idiot Nephew doesn’t think any of those things are important anyway, and plant maintenance won’t matter after Idiot Nephew finishes outsourcing all manufacturing to China in order to boost profits an extra 1%. (You tried to explain to Idiot Nephew that doing so will compromise quality and risk losing all the company’s intellectual property, but he didn’t seem to understand or care. Could it be because Rich Uncle is also heavily invested in the Chinese competitor that Idiot Nephew has outsourced the work to?)

Unfortunately, some of your more ignorant colleagues are also taken in by Idiot Nephew’s good looks, swagger, and glibness (most of the ones that were too smart to be fooled were fired). They are also unmoved by your protestations that Idiot Nephew’s crazy ideas have all been tried and failed (indeed, that’s what almost destroyed the company and left it in its current sorry state). They also don’t seem to care that Idiot Nephew’s ideas have never been known to have worked at any company, ever.

And the worst part? Rich Uncle apparently doesn’t care if Idiot Nephew ruins the company, as long as Idiot Nephew by hook or crook (mostly crook) manages to keep boosting dividend payments.

There’s one upside: the shareholders meeting is coming up. Rich Uncle is the single largest and most influential shareholder, but if the other shareholders (each one owning only a small portion of the company, but together representing an overwhelming majority) are able to see Rich Uncle and Idiot Nephew for who they are and band together, then the company will have a chance.

***

How about some economic policy ideas that might actually work? Click here to read some of mine, and sign this petition to tell the President and Congress that America needs jobs and economic growth. Like the Idiot Nephew with his failed ideas, the GOP are incapable of providing either.

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