Return of Boehner the Complainer

November 1st, 2009

Inspired by “Boehner slams ‘1,990 pages of bureaucracy’ in GOP address” (The Hill 10/31/09), “Paper Weight: The health care bill is more than 1,000 pages. Is that a lot?” (Slate 8/20/09), and the list of top 10 Republicans in  “Ideology trumps party for Palin” (Washington Post 10/26/09). House Minority Leader Boehner is all the way down at #9, a spot he doesn’t even get for himself but has to share with Sen. Minority Leader Mitch McConnell.


House Minority Leader Boehner,

You’re still a world-class complainer.


As I’ve said before, detail is not disadvantageous–

To reform healthcare, we need more than a thousand pages.

It takes actual legislation, not sound bites, to address such a weighty matter

(Although I know you prefer the latter).


On the other hand, what is outrageous

Is that the Republican “plan” is only 4 pages.

I remember you all waiving it in the air during the President’s speech.

To call that trifle a plan is actually quite a reach.


The 2007 budget bill was 1482 pages long,

But you didn’t complain about that when it came along.

In fact, you boasted how Republicans had passed it

(Strange that you criticize 1000 when you yourself have surpassed it).


But I know that it’s hard for you

To do the things that we pay you to.

Reading legislation is your profession

(You often don’t, according to Inhofe’s and Grassley’s confession).


But to make it easier for you, here’s some assistance

Which I hope will lessen your resistance.

Try my Dr. Seuss’s Prescription for Healthcare Reform,

Specifically designed the simple-minded to inform.


But is the real issue that you long documents rebuff?

(Strange, since fellow Republican Mark Foley liked pages well enough.)

Is it that 535 Congressmen and 17,000 staff work day and night

But don’t have enough time to read what they themselves write?


I think I know what this is really about:

The Post’s top 10 Republicans list is what you’re upset about.

After all these years, you’re only at number 9

(If that were me, I too would whine).

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Posted in Healthcare, Republicans | 3 Comments »

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3 Responses to “Return of Boehner the Complainer”

  1. Newsericks » Blog Archive » Mirror, Mirror (or, Republican Parallel Universe State of the Union for the “Real America”) Says:

    […] in the title”). And unlike the Democrats McDonnell mercilessly mocked, Republicans don’t need thousands of pages of detailed policy and actual legislative measures to rescue the economy, create new jobs, reform […]

  2. Newsericks » Blog Archive » Why Senator Jonny Can’t Read Says:

    […] if Jonny and Johnny can’t read, are they still capable of […]

  3. Newsericks » Blog Archive » Dictatorship of the Teapartitariat Says:

    […] And again your obsession with number of pages. […]

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