March 16th, 2010
Next in our reconciliation series, inspired by Judd Gregg’s floor statement (House of Representatives 3/04/10), Obama’s new NASA strategy criticized (Washington Post 3/10/10), and NASA offers opportunities for zero-gravity technology testing (Military & Aerospace Electronics 3/15/10) .
“This bill, this giant bill, on health care — this asteroid headed towards Earth — is sitting in the House of Representatives. And they don’t have the votes to pass it… So what have the House leadership and the Senate comes up with? They’ve come up with a huge sidecar. It’s called reconciliation.” – Senator Judd Gregg
“NASA announced today a new program to launch Senator Gregg into upper earth orbit in an attempt to block the approaching R-51 asteroid.” –NASA press release
A new term has swept the Nation:
For Dems, it represents healthcare’s last chance,
But Republicans take a contrary stance.
They believe that it’s introduction
Will bring about the country’s destruction.
(Never mind the fact that they’ve used it much more
Than the Dems ever had before.)
But one brave Senator from New Hampshire
(A Republican, to be sure)
Has come out against this grave offense
And offered himself up in our national defense.
NASA is preparing to send him up into space
In this last ditch chance to save the human race.
(Dramatic pause while we all reminisce
About the heroic scene with Bruce Willis.)
I guess we should call it asteroid R-51,
Because that’s the number of votes needed to get health reform done.
“R” is for reconciliation, of course,
Something the GOP used to heartily endorse.
But now that the tables are turned
And Dems to the majority have returned,
Reconciliation has become a mortal threat
The likes of which the Nation’s never seen yet.
Mortal, that is, to the Republican attempt
To treat the political process with continued contempt,
To block and obstruct for political gain
In their unending anti-Obama campaign.
But what if R-51 does end up hitting?
Will Republicans in their pants be sh*tting?
An asteroid killed off the dinosaurs 65 million years ago.
Does a similar fate await the dinosauric Party of No?
And you, Judd, don’t be afraid–
It isn’t as bad as you’ve portrayed.
Reconciliations used to make you glad,
So don’t make this one out to be so bad.
Here’s a scene from the movie from which this post takes it’s name, Armageddon. I own it, and it’s actually one of my favorites (the scene with Bruce Willis’s father-daughter flashback at the end always chokes me up).
Here’s another asteroid movie, featuring Elijah Wood (of later Frodo Baggins fame). I own and enjoyed this one too (the part in this movie that always chokes me up is the scene with the motorcycle and baby). (This movie is also another example of how bad things happen when there’s a black president.)
Here’s Sen. Gregg being for use of reconciliation (when the Repubs used it) before he was against it.