Put an Aspirin Between Your Knees (…and Don’t Call Him Until Morning)

February 16th, 2012

A follow-up to Who’s Behind Foster’s Grants?, inspired by Rick Santorum sugar daddy Foster Friess’s unbearably outrageous comment on Andrea Mitchell this afternoon.

 

“Back in my days, they used Bayer Aspirin for contraception. The gals put it between their knees and it wasn’t that costly.” — Rick Santorum sugar daddy Foster Friess today on Andrea Mitchell

 

Andrea Mitchell was speechless, but that didn’t phase Foster at all

(I’m surprised he didn’t Andrea “Little Missy” call).

 

We already knew that Foster Friess has lots of money

And considers himself

very funny.

 

We already knew that he’s pretty old

And prefers his politicians socially conservative and “bold.”

 

That’s all obvious, given Friess’s support for Santorum,

But we didn’t know he has no regard for decorum.

 

We didn’t know, but I suppose should have guessed

That he’s a radical Repub who thinks the old days were best.

 

The good old days before civil rights, gay rights, and women’s liberation

Ruined what once was a Great and Powerful Nation.

 

Sorry Foster, but this crude comment takes the cake.

In fact, it gave me (and I’m sure others) a massive headache.

 

I guess I’ll take an aspirin until I’ve recovered–

Too bad it’s not by my insurance covered.

 

Birth control won’t be either, if you and Rick have your druthers,

Much to the chagrin ofAmerica’s daughters, wives, and mothers.

 

But it’ll be OK, women ofAmerica, if you just heed Foster’s warning:

Put an aspirin between your knees, and stay away from men until morning.

 

Maybe people spoke like that, Mr. Friess, back in your day,

But now we no longer speak that way.

***

Here’s Foster Friess this afternoon on Andrea Mitchell.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Sphere: Related Content

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Freedoms, Religion, Republicans, What ails us | 2 Comments »

Get Music, Movies, and More With SuperPass - 14 Day Free Trial

Stream 7 million songs and download MP3s with free Napster trial Follow Newsericks on Twitter

Comments

2 Responses to “Put an Aspirin Between Your Knees (…and Don’t Call Him Until Morning)”

  1. Dayo Search Says:

    Dayo Search…

    […]Newsericks » Blog Archive » Put an Aspirin Between Your Knees (…and Don’t Call Him Until Morning)[…]…

  2. Poetry Says:

    Poetry…

    […]Newsericks » Blog Archive » Put an Aspirin Between Your Knees (…and Don’t Call Him Until Morning)[…]…

Leave a Reply

 Comment Form 

*