Poker Face (or: It Took Obama to Get Osama)

May 3rd, 2011



Inspired by President Obama and his close advisors’ ability to keep a secret…

“I was at the White House Correspondents’ dinner Saturday night, and there I am buzzing around saying hello to my old pals… And all the time now, right Mark, these guys probably knew all of this because they were in the sit[uation] room, they were in that inner circle these guys, right?” – Chris Matthews
“That’s right. It’s a poker face.” – New York Times columnist Mark Mazzetti
“Thank God Barack H. Obama was President on 5/01/11.” – Rudy Giuliani (paraphrased)

Obama is the poker-faced Jedi master.

Bush, in contrast, was a foreign policy disaster.

In addition to its many questionable techniques,

The Bush Administration was plagued by leaks.

Could they have kept this secret under wraps

And prevented the Bin Laden mission’s collapse?

Maybe yes, but then again maybe not,

In which case Bin Laden would have never been caught.

Bush himself couldn’t help but constantly bluster

Like his strategic predecessor, Gen. George Custer.

Just imagine if during his speech, Bush made some offhand remark

Alluding to the mission on which the SEALS were about to embark.

Or if someone joked about how Bin Laden had gotten away,

And Bush quipped, “We’ll see about that this Sunday.”

“You’d have to be an idiot to say that” you say matter-of-factly.

Yes, I respond, that’s my point exactly.

Bin Laden would then have immediately moved

And Bush his incompetence again irrefutably proved.

But Obama and his advisors were all cool as could be:

When Seth Meyers cracked his Bin Laden joke, they laughed inscrutably.

“Anyone could have done that,” you (defensively) scoff.

But could Bush and his cronies have pulled it off?

And if Bush had messed up, we’d never have known it:

They’d have cancelled the mission as soon as he’d blown it.

The mission’s existence would have been suppressed,

Unknown for 50 years until revealed by FOIA request.

So it’s quite possible (though for now difficult to either prove or refute)

That something like this caused failure of Bush’s Bin Laden pursuit.

Thank God that’s Obama’s now president in Bush’s place,

And that he’s got a much better poker face.


Here’s your theme music, Poker Face by Lady Gaga.

Here’s Chris Matthews’ 5/03/11 report on President Obama’s leadership ability and panel discussion about the raid. The New York Times’ Mark Mazzetti makes the “poker face” comment (there’s also discussion of the torture issue).

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Here’s Lawrence O’Donnell’s 5/02/11 comment on President Obama’s leadership and Jedi-like poker face self-control.

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Here’s the President’s White House Correspondents’ Association dinner speech. Yes, he killed, and not even a hint of bluster about Bin Laden.

Here, in contrast, is an example George Bush’s poker face (from Michael Moore’s Fahrenheit 9/11).

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