Organ Thief Capitalism

January 14th, 2012

Here’s a more applicable term than “vulture capitalism” for Mitt Romney’s career at Bain. 


Critics use the term “vulture capitalism” to describe Romney’s career at Bain,

But I’ve come up with a more accurate refrain.


Vultures just pick clean the carcasses of animals that are already dead,

While folks like Mitt will start dismembering you alive instead.


As opposed to what Rick Perry believes,

“Vulture capitalists” are more like organ thieves.


They find an often healthy victim whose parts they harvest,

And very little of their own funds invest.


(Like organ harvesters, the way to get really wealthy

Is by getting hold of the victims that are the most healthy.)


They then sell the parts to the highest bidder,

Effects on workers and local economies not stopping to consider.


And if you, their victim, have been really nice,

Maybe they’ll do you a favor and leave you packed in ice.


Otherwise, they’ll just leave you cut open and bleeding on the floor

As they grab a few million in fees on their way out the door.


This asset-endectomy often leaves the victim deceased–

No big deal, as long as the rate of return is increased.


And if you have a problem with any of that,

Then you’re just a dirty commie rat.


Here’s Rick Perry’s discussion of vulture capitalism, helpfully reproduced on Newt Gingrich’s Youtube page. Sorry Rick, but I think you’re being too easy on Mitt and Company.

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