No No. VA’er

October 9th, 2009

Inspired by “Can N. Va. Trust McDonnell’s Promises?” (Washington Post 10/08/09) and Creigh Deed’s ad about the subject (watch below). To read our other Newsericks on McDonnell, his policies, and his 95-page thesis, click on the “McDonnell” tag below.


Bob McDonnell says vote for me

I’m from NoVA, you see.

Like my signs say, I’m “Fairfax’s Own.”

Forgive me, but that’s a tad overblown.


You haven’t lived in NoVA since you left for college–

Almost 4 decades ago, you should acknowledge.

How is it that 2 decades (when you wrote your thesis) is the ancient past,

While 4 decades is like yesterday, by contrast.


NoVA has changed since 1972.

It’s no longer the place you once knew.

For one thing, more women now have a career

And gays don’t have to try straight to appear.


What’s more, NoVA’s political influence has grown—

You can’t get elected by the South alone.

In population and economic power, NoVA the South outstrips

(But I guess you knew that, or you wouldn’t be making all those trips).


Northern VA is also more urban and liberal

Than Southern VA, which is more conservative and rural.

You fit much better down there, it would seem.

By coming up North, you’re just swimming upstream.


So please don’t pretend to be a local boy:

Such misinformation can only annoy.

Virginia Beach is where you’ve made your life,

Grad school, career, house, kids, and wife.


Richmond’s where the governor lives anyway,

So if elected, that’s where you’ll stay.

If you get elected, what then?

Would NoVA ever see you again?


Of course, maybe that’s better, considering your past,

Positions you’ve held and bills that you’ve passed.

You’ve never before shown NoVA much love,

Except starting two years ago, which you decided to run for gov.


Your transport plan has no chance of succeeding–

Hopes for NoVA are quickly receding.

You can’t fix roads and bridges without spending money,

And you’re plans for raising it are so absurd they’re funny.


But here’s the main thing I’ve detected:

If as governor you’re elected,

Would things continue as expected,

With most state taxes from NoVA collected,

And little in the area re-injected

(Since most money is to the South directed)?


Our roads and bridges sorely neglected,

Local voters and politicians disrespected,

Because they’re not as well connected?

Will gays rights still not be protected

And local views not be reflected?


Sure, you’ve toned down your rhetoric to seem less threatening,

But who knows what changes you could be planning.

Who knows what NoVA will look like when you’re through?

So no, NoVA can’t trust you.


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