Mitt’s Excuses (or: Eight Is Enough)

July 18th, 2012

Inspired by the Romney campaign’s continued attempt to distract attention away from his tax returns.


Dear Mitt:


Your excuses for not releasing more tax returns are pretty lame,

And are distracting from your attempt Obama for the Bush recession to blame.


Here are a few better excuses you’re welcome to try

(For the first few, you don’t even have to lie).


Mitt and his surrogates have come up with a whole string of excuses for why he’s not going to release additional tax returns:

1)       It’s all an Obama plot to distract attention away from the bad economy

2)       John McCain only released two years worth

3)       It’ll never be enough. If you release 10, they’ll want 20. If you release 20, they’ll want 25…”

4)       John Kerry’s wife didn’t release her tax returns

5)       Mitt’s already released more pages than other candidates did

6)       He doesn’t want to give the Obama campaign material for more attacks and criticism

7)       Obama didn’t release his college transcripts, so why should Mitt release his tax returns?

8)       “You can trust me” (since Mitt has been so honest about everything else…)


Mitt, none of those excuses works very well, so here are my humble suggestions for a few more that you can try:

1)       Release your quarterly tax returns (most wealthy filers and businesses have to file those, so I’m sure you do too) for 2010 through June 2012. Then you’ll be able to (sort of) honestly say “I’ve released 10 sets of tax returns.” But, the advantage of that approach is that you’ll have to release only the returns from after you started doctoring your finances to improve your electability, and won’t have to release any of the presumably more damaging pre-2010 returns.

2)       You can take the quarterly tax return approach a step further by also releasing returns for all your trusts and all the partnerships and S-corps which you own or invest in. You already have to include (or at least summarize) those in your IRS return so it’s not additional potentially-damaging information (and if it is, you could just leave out that particularly return), but if you release all the returns partnership, S-corp, and other entity returns separately, then you can say “I’ve released 25 sets of tax returns” (since each entity files its own separate return). This is kind of like the “500 pages” argument, but it’s more sophisticated, and should therefore fool more people. Those who are less familiar with IRS arcania will assume (especially when Fox News and the Echo Chamber help propagate that assumption) that “25 sets of returns” means 25 years of returns, which sounds impressive.

3)       Just come out and claim that you already did release twelve years worth of tax returns (Fox News and Rush will back you up), and that anyone who claims you haven’t is lying;

You’re welcome.


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