Mike Kelly is an Idiot

July 26th, 2011

A follow-up to Millionaire Mike Goes to Washington, inspired by Uncertainty reigns among House GOP freshmen about next step: Many think their work is done after voting for ‘cut, cap and balance’ (Washington Post 7/26/11), and in particular by PA car-dealer-turned-Tea-Party-politician Mike Kelly.


“I don’t think the Speaker has to do anything. We’ve passed legislation that allows the debt ceiling to rise. What is it about this plan that nobody understands? It allows everything to happen that everybody says needs to happen. The speaker’s done everything he can do. The House has done everything it could do. We passed it. We sent it to them. Now, what’s the holdup?” – Mike Kelly (R-PA) on how he solved the debt ceiling crisis


“I don’t think Kelly Motors has to do anything. I’ve instituted a new rule that requires all of our suppliers to reduce their prices back to pre-WW2 levels, effective immediately. That will restore our profitability without requiring us to either sell more cars (which is hard) or raise car prices (which might cost us some of our current sales). I’ve done everything I can do. Kelly Motors has done everything we can do. We enacted this new rule. We sent it to our suppliers. Now, what’s the holdup?” – Mike Kelly (R-PA) on how he’d deal with a comparable business problem?


House Repubs passed a “plan” with no chance to be enacted,

But you’d never know that, based on how self-satisfied they’ve acted.


They revel in the hard work they did and “brave” vote they cast,

Even though “cut, cap and balance” has no chance to be passed.


They now see themselves as of all responsibility absolved,

Even though “cut, cap and balance” would create more problems than it solved.


They’ve done all they can, so now it’s everyone else’s turn–

About our pending default they show little concern.


BTW, Washington Post, it’s nice you’re trying to be polite,

But I don’t think the word “uncertainty” is right.


The word you’re looking for is “confusion,”

Or alternatively, “self-delusion.”


You, Mr. Kelly, are self-delusion’s poster boy.

I hope you didn’t the same strategy in your business employ.


And the problem with “cut, cap and balance” is not that people don’t understand it,

It’s that everyone who realizes what it would do can’t stand it.


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