Michel’s Migraines

July 21st, 2011

Inspired by Bachmann says migraines won’t hinder her (Washington Post 7/20/11) and Bachmann’s health good, House physician declares: Presidential candidate releases note saying migraines are controlled (Washington Post7/21/11).


“There were a couple of times when she gave speeches while she was suffering from migraines.”–former Bachmann district director Julie Quist


“She would routinely just disappear, wouldn’t answer her phone, wouldn’t respond to email, nothing.”– former Bachmann aide


“I have prescription medication that I take whenever symptoms arise, and they keep the migraines under control and significantly reduce the satanic voices I otherwise always hear. Of course, the only way to fully stop the voices is to obey them.” — Michele Bachmann


I admit, Michele, I get migraines too,

Especially when I listen at length to you.


Don’t worry, you’re not the only one that’s uneasy:

When you give a speech, I also feel queasy.


I knew there was something going on in your head,

Though my money was on your fanatical beliefs instead.


(Though I’m inspired by your devotion to the Cause,

They don’t call you “Queen Crazy” without cause.)


Not that I believe women who suffer from migraines are neurotic

In your case, I think the correct diagnosis is: psychotic.


I am glad your migraines are under control,

But I’d feel better if those voices didn’t have you under their control.


What’s that? If you want the headaches to go away,

You just have to do what the voices say?


Here’s your theme music for today, Brain Damage by Pink Floyd.

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