Massa Disaster

March 12th, 2010

“This is a moment that will decide the course of this nation, possibly.” – Glenn Beck in the lead up to his interview with ex-Congressman Massa

“Or possibly not.” — Me

Inspired by Massa under investigation for allegedly goping male staffers ( 3/09/10), Former congressman Massa says Democrats set him up over health care (Washington Post 3/09/10), Male Massa staffers reported groping, Massa flirts with the right, but Beck isn’t tickled (Washington Post 3/10/10), Republicans are urging new investigation of former congressman Massa ( 3/12/10), and Glenn Beck’s one hour long interview of ex-Congressman Massa.

I don’t know what to make of this guy.

At first he claimed the whole thing was a lie.

But if he was unfairly forced out by some evil design,

Then why did he voluntarily resign?

Then he changed his tune

And admitted to actions inopportune.

But it was all good clean fun, he affirmed

(His version of events unfortunately wasn’t confirmed).

Whether he’s guilty or innocent,

What Massa is accused of is sexual harassment.

I don’t care whether you’re straight or gay,

That’s not the kind of behavior to display.

To Congressman Massa:

I’m a Democrat too,

And would normally be inclined to believe you.

But your story keeps on changing

And the facts rearranging.

First you were resigning because of cancer,

Then it turned out that wasn’t the right answer.

It was really because you used “salty talk”

That you were being forced to walk.

Then we learned you were being investigated for sexual harassment.

(Remember when nobody knew what “snorkeling” meant?)

Then it became a Pelosi-Obama plot to get rid of you

(At that point I started to get sick of you).

But you found the one person who’ll accept your version of this train wreck

(Mr. Conspiracy himself, the honorable Glenn Beck).

But you disappointed him when you didn’t follow through

By saying all the things he wanted you to.

Now you’ve admitted you let everyone down,

But you still don’t seem to get that you’ve come across like a clown.

And why not just come out and admit you’re gay

Instead of just suggesting it with everything you say.

To House Minority Leader Boehner:

I thought it was interesting that your office didn’t release a statement the other day

(I’m surprised you didn’t have anything to say).

Instead, aides referred reporters to Mr. Hundred Year Plan.

So it’s official: Beck is now the GOP’s formal spokesman.

And I like how the GOP has now turned on a dime

From lauding Massa’s bravery to demanding investigation of his crime.

But what you really want to find out is if Pelosi tried to hide it

Like with Foley’s page scandal when you yourself tried it.

And to my fellow Dems:

At least we’ve learned something from this whole situation,

A piece of valuable information.

We know what a what a Democrat must do to go

On Glenn Beck’s show.

And we’ve learned the lesson that one needs to move quickly

In turning things over to the ethics committee.

In that, the Democratic Leadership appears to have done well

(Whether that’s true, I guess the investigation will tell).


Here’s Glenn Beck’s unprecedented hour-long interview 3/09/10. The high point: when Glenn Beck asked Massa what had to be done to get rid of the corruption, and Massa said that if we didn’t do campaign finance reform (which Glenn is of course against), nothing else would matter. That Massa is of course correct about.

Here are Countdown’s 3/08/10, 3/09/10, and 3/10/10 reports (including an appearance by Bill Maher). And don’t miss this 3/10/10 retrospective (it’s excellent, and that’s the one to watch if you don’t have time for the rest).

Visit for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Visit for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Visit for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Visit for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Visit for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Here’s Countdown’s 3/11/10 report on the GOP’s “Plan B” to try to politically profit from Massa, along with some background on the Foley scandal.

Visit for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Here are Jon Stewart’s and Colbert’s 3/10/10 reports about the Massa – Glenn Beck interview.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c
Sour Gropes
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Political Humor Health Care Reform
The Colbert Report Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Non-Sexual Groping
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Skate Expectations

Here’s an excerpt from Massa’s Larry King interview (his last one, he said) in which he said it’s really all of the answers he previously gave together.

Sphere: Related Content

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Democrats, Republicans | 2 Comments »

Get Music, Movies, and More With SuperPass - 14 Day Free Trial

Stream 7 million songs and download MP3s with free Napster trial Follow Newsericks on Twitter


2 Responses to “Massa Disaster”

  1. Newsericks » Blog Archive » Weiner Attack Says:

    […] Massa Disaster […]

  2. Crunch @ WB/S Pens 10/3/09 | Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins AHL Announcer Says:

    […] Newsericks » Blog Archive » Massa Disaster […]

Leave a Reply

 Comment Form