Limp and Impotent

September 3rd, 2010

A follow up to our earlier inappropriately pesonal pieces about Sarah, Natural Born American and Going Rogue (or click here to read our entire Palin series), inspired by Sarah Palin: The Sound and the Fury (Michael Joseph Gross, Vanity Fair), and Sister Sarah’s response thereto (read Sarah Palin Calls Reporters “Impotent” and “Limp” as Questions Emerge About Vanity Fair Profile for more about that).

“I hear there is some pretty ugly stuff right now coming out. Those who are impotent and limp and gutless and then they go on their anonymous, their sources that are anonymous – and impotent, limp and gutless reporters take anonymous sources and cite them as being factual references.” – Sarah Palin again attacking the press, and in particular Michael Joseph Gross for his recent article in Vanity Fair

Sarah, I’d like to ask something personal, if you don’t mind,

Since you can’t seem to get impotent and limp off your mind.

With just two months left before the election,

You’re questioning someone’s ability to maintain an erection?

Normally I don’t like to pry or prod,

But is something not right with you and Todd?

(I wouldn’t usually ask something like this of you,

But since you brought it up, I figured I could too.)

Talk about an ugly personal attack

When I heard what you said, even I was taken aback.

Mr. Gross’s article may not make you look so good,

But you upped the ante by questioning his manhood.

Did what you about Mr. Gross had to say

Have anything to do with his being gay?

Did you subject him to such abuse

Because of his and his partner’s inability to reproduce?

(Gross is still a young guy, so he’s probably

Not yet suffering from ED.)

What would you think if someone said

Something questioning you or Todd’s ability in bed?

How would you respond if, God forbid,

Someone did that? (Oh wait – I just did.)

As Mr. Gross and others point out, you consciously use your sexuality

And politically parade your and Todd’s fecundity.

As you said at Beckapalooza, birthing a veteran was your greatest contribution

(All hail the Christian Conservative sexual revolution).

I understand why you wouldn’t want to have that tiger/kitten image destroyed,

And hence all your supporters against Mr. Gross have deployed.

But if you don’t like what I just suggested about you,

You probably shouldn’t say those things about other people too.

Besides, if things in the bedroom are going downhill,

You can always have Todd try the little blue pill.


Here’s the Ed Show’s report.

Here’s Hardball’s 9/01/10 panel discussion with Michael Gross. (Chris also reported 9/02/10 on Palin “limp and impotent” comments, but unfortunately that’s not online.)

Visit for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Here’s your theme music from the Viva Viagra commercial. (Unfortunately, they’re not paying me anything for this plug.)


Here’s another relevant song by the very cool Seattle band Thee EmergencyGet It Up (from the album Can You Dig It).


Also check out these hilarious “Reptile Disfunction” boxers and t-shirt.

Reptile Dysfunction Boxer Shorts Reptile Dysfunction Boxer Shorts

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