August 3rd, 2010

Inspired by BREAKING: Multiple Ranches In Laredo, TX Taken Over By Los Zetas (Diggers Realm 7/24/10), Update On Los Zetas Ranch Seizure In Laredo (Diggers Realm 7/26/10),  and BREAKING NEWS: Multiple Ranches in Laredo, Texas Taken Over by Los Zetas: Obama and Media Cover Up! (SodaHead 7/24/10). 

“As bizarre as the Invasion of Laredo is as a story, the most disappointing thing about it thus far isn’t that a handful of conspiracy theorists could concoct such a story, but that our federal government has created the conditions for such a flight of fancy to appear absolutely possible.” –, which even after reporting that the story was fake couldn’t help blaming it on the Obama Administration
“It is my thought that someone is hoping we overreact to the story and blast obama about this. Then they can claim the story was a hoax and that the internet needs to be controlled to prevent this from happening . Kind of like what was tried with the sherrod story. The media is still controlled by liberals who are largely out for retribution about the journolist deal. They have obviously declared war on the American people.” – comment by PoliticalJules on

Mexican drug gangs have invaded the US,

And it’s not even being covered by the lamestream press.

The drug gang “Los Zetas” has taken over several ranches in Laredo.

(Will there be demands to send the National Guard by Tom Tancredo?)

Michele Malkin’s website picked it up, as did,

Which as we know specializes is the factually untrue hate/fear bomb.

(Diggers Realm and the Examiner played a prominent role

Sounding the alarm for the latest pericolo espanol.)

The thing is, the story’s true only in the far right’s parallel universe,

Which to the presence of facts is incurably adverse.

In the real world, the supposed invasion never took place,

Which didn’t stop the blogaconda from spreading the “news” all over the place.

And Rachel shows, the skyrocketing illegal immigration and crime stories are also both fakes,

But hey, when it comes to getting political power, you do whatever it takes.

Lie, cheat, steal, or use violent force,

But only if it’s necessary, of course.

The right’s fabrication of facts is progress, in a perverse kind of way–

The echo chamber has long slanted facts their own particular way.

But now, they just make up their own facts out of whole cloth,

All the better to whip their followers up into a hysterical froth.

This increasing perversion of truth amounts to admission

That reality no longer accords with their world vision,

So they’re increasingly required to make up their own facts

To form the basis for their vicious attacks.

America, you’ve been Breitbarted again.

Why does this keep happening again and again?


Here’s Rachel’s 8/02/10 report (she’s back from vacation). Rachel, I actually have to call you out one two (minor) things. When you were debunking Sen. Kyl’s (R-AZ) statements about rising crime, you gave statistics for Arizona, while Kyl had been talking about Phoenix. Also, Kyl did not say violent crime in Phoenix is up, he said “certain violent crimes on certain parts of the citizenry are up.” However, your conclusion still holds, since Kyl is wrong about Phoenix property crime rates, which fell 46% between 2002 and 2009, while the violent crime rate fell 30%. Kyl may be technically correct on the latter point, since there’s probably some subset of violent crime data that can be sliced to find an increase for someone (e.g., forcible purse snatchings from blonde 37 year old women named Carol). Also, the Breitbart TV piece you showed the screen shot of (**UPDATED** Laredo Texas on Lockdown as Reports Claim Mexican Drug War Crosses Border) was actually about a gun battle that happened on the Mexican side of the border in Nuevos Laredo (admittedly, the title is misleading, and could also have been interpreted to have been about the alleged invasion, which actually refuted in these two articles). But Sen. Kyl: though I do think it’s necessary for fairness’s sake to point out Rachel’s (minor) misstatements, that pales in comparison to your and your party’s many misstatements, misrepresentations, and outright laws (“that’s a gross generalization” you say, as if you weren’t guilty of many of your own). In this case, the generalization just happens to be true.


Visit for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Here’s Keith’s 8/02/10 report (he’s also back from vacation) about Kyl’s misrepresentation about crime rates in Phoenix and repealing the 14th Amendment. (Lady Gaga for Senator?)

Visit for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

And here’s your theme music for today, Streets of Laredo by the great Johnny Cash.

(Also check out this very funny Smothers Brothers version, which is perhaps more appropriate to our theme.)

Update 8/04/10: Check out Latest Fake Rightwing Rumor: Zeta Gang in Laredo (Daily Kos 8/03/10 8:58 p.m.), which is an excellent retrospective of the whole fake story. Mokurai: I also thought of the Smothers Brothers connection (great minds think alike), but you did me one better with those new song lyrics (reproduced below).

 “As I walked out in the streets of Laredo
As I walked out in Laredo one day,
I spied a young wetback all dressed in gang colors,
All dressed in gang colors as bright as the day.
I see by your outfit that you are a Zeta.
I see by your outfit that you’re a Zeta, too.
We see by our outfits that we are Los Zetas.
If you get an outfit you can be a Zeta, too.” — Mokurai on Daily Kos

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One Response to “Laredo”

  1. Newsericks » Blog Archive » Monkey Terrorists Says:

    […] follow-up to our earlier monkey-related post, Fox News reports yet another fake news story designed to scare its viewers. “Get your hands off me, you damn dirty apes.” […]

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