It’s Hard Out There for a Speaker

March 15th, 2011

Inspired by continued freshmen Republican defections from party line votes and Lawrence O’Donnell’s “it’s hard out there” comment (watch it below).

John Boehner’s new Tea Party members

Haven’t yet learned who’s the boss.

(It’s strange when ascendance to the Speakership

Is accompanied by a partial power loss.)

Yes, he’s got more Republicans

Than he did before,

But he’s got fewer that know how to act

Like a compliant corporate whore.

I’m not saying at all

That the new Tea Party members are pure.

They’ve been around the block plenty;

Of that you can be sure.

That’s what the Tea Party movement

Has always been about.

Big Business provided “grass roots” funding

And the Teabaggers put out.

Tea Party politicans think Big Business

Supports them out of love.

But business doesn’t care about Tea Party principles

When push comes to shove.

The freshmen are still amatures,

Used to giving it away.

They haven’t yet learned how

To make their clients pay to play.

They still don’t know

What you need to be a pro.

They still don’t understand

That you have to perform on demand.

That’s why Speaker Boehner

May have to get tough to calm them down.

After all, even Big Business

Doesn’t want the government shut down.

But Boehner also knows

How to take care of his stable,

And treats them real nice

Whenever he is able.

First you show your girls some love,

Then you show them some more

(For example by distributing lobbyist checks

Before a vote on the House floor).

B’s recruits will soon

Graduate to professional status.

They’ll still give Big Business what it wants…

Just not gratis.


Here’s your theme music, the Oscar version of It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp by Three 6 Mafia, featured in the excellent movie Hustle and Flow (here’s the movie soundtrack).

Here’s Ezra Klein on the Last Word 3/15/11 discussing the budget impasse and the GOP’s penny-wise pound-foolish cuts. Kudos, Lawrence, on the “it’s hard out there” comment.

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