I Read Last Night…

April 2nd, 2012

Inspired by Rachel’s report on Rick Santorum’s creative use of non-facts.


“I was just reading something last night from the state of California… Seven or eight of the California system of universities don’t even teach an American History course. It’s not even available to be taught. Just to tell you how bad it’s gotten in this country where we’re trying to disconnect the American people from the roots of who we are.” – Rick Santorum today in Wisconsin




Rick Santorum certainly does delight

In saying things, his base to excite

And their fear of government incite

Based on what Rick read last night.


I’ve come up with my own list below

For dear readers to repeat to everyone you know.

(And if you’d like to add to it,

Leave a comment or tweet me to do it.)


Then you and other readers can any imaginable absurdity construe:

Just say “I read this last night” and your statement’s technically true.


Here’s Rachel’s 4/02/12 report.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy


Here are a bunch of other things that you now can say tomorrow that “I read last night” (add a comment or tweet me with your own suggestions):

  1. I read last night that Rick Santorum got his girlfriend pregnant in college, then convinced her to have an abortion.
  2. I read last night that Rick Santorum spent one semester in college at U.C. Berkeley, but was thrown out after he was caught selling drugs.
  3. I read last night that Rick Santorum attended a healthcare policy conference with Newt Gingrich in 2007 and spoke in favor of the individual mandate.
  4. I read last night that Rick Santorum failed the bar exam the first time he took it.
  5. I read last night that Rick Santorum’s family lived in public housing when he was a child.
  6. I read last night that Rick Santorum successfully lobbied on behalf of the World Wrestling Federation to get professional wrestling exempted from anabolic steroid regulations.
  7. I read last night that Rick Santorum lost his Senate seat by 18%, the largest margin of defeat for an incumbent senator since 1980.
  8. I read last night that Rick Santorum endorsed Mitt Romney in 2008 as the “real conservative in the race,” but then endorsed McCain after his selection of Sarah Palin as his running mate.
  9. I read last night that Rick Santorum is distantly related to Silvio Berlusconi.
  10. I read last night that Rick Santorum’s nickname in high school was “Rooster,” because of an incident in the shower during gym class.


Yes, you can play this game too! Just use any website, blog, or online comment as your source, or if you can’t find a source online, just write something yourself, or have a staffer write it, and then read it right before your bedtime prayers. And no matter what you say, technically you’ll be telling the truth!

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