I Didn’t Inhale… Satan

September 21st, 2010

Inspired by O’Donnell: What Happens on a Satanic Alter Stays on a Satanic Alter! Right, Sarah Palin? (BuzzFlash 9/21/10).

“I dabbled into witchcraft but I never joined a coven.” – Christine O’Donnell ca. 1999 Bill Maher’s Politically Incorrect

Republicans mocked Bill Clinton for saying he “didn’t inhale,”

But now liberals mocking Christine O’Donnell’s witchery bewail.

“I never joined a coven,” Miss Christine replied,

So her transgression never really counted, she implied.

Just like Bill Clinton, it doesn’t really count

Because she didn’t inhale (according to her account).

She used to “hang out with questionable folks in high school,” Christine said,

When what she should have said was that she was one instead.

(I’d really like to know more about that blood on the alter.

Did she do something that Values Voters views of her would alter?

And how do we really know that when she’s fondling her crucifer

That she’s really not remembering the fun she had with Lucifer.)

She didn’t join a coven (i.e., she didn’t go all the way),

So didn’t do anything really wrong, she’s trying to say.

But didn’t Christine herself say that lust in your heart

Is in God’s eyes the same as if you in adultery take part?

Doesn’t her satanic “dabbling” follow the same rule?

Who is it that she’s trying to fool?

Then again, maybe it doesn’t count as a sin

Unless you really breathe that satanic sulfur in.


Here’s Chris Matthews’ 9/21/10 discussion with Bill Maher about Ms. O’Donnell.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Here’s a video clip of other great Religious Right leaders. Note: The title works best if you read it Church Lady style. (And yes, that is Al Franken as Pat Robertson.)

Here’s your theme music, :She’s My Witch” by KC and the Moonshine Band.

PS to my Wiccan readers: I know that Wiccanism and Satanism are by no means the same, but since my purpose in this poem is to satirize Christine O’Donnell and the Religious, I’m playing on their conflation of the two.

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