How to be Uncool (or, Not Our Generation)

July 25th, 2010

Inspired by How to be, like, incredibly boring (Megan Cox Gurdon, The Examiner 7/25/10).

Megan: As usual, excellent and very well written article (see kids, grammar is, like, important after all). I’ve got two teen daughters (including one thirteen year old), and your article inspired me to write the following.

If you want to be uncool,

Then just follow this simple rule:

Have a child, wait thirteen years,

And voila, uncoolness appears.

It doesn’t matter who you are

Or if you drive a really cool car.

It doesn’t matter where you work,

Your teenage kids will think you’re a jerk.

So don’t sweat it, unfortunately uncool parents of teens:

There’s nothing you can do when adolescence intervenes.

Don’t try to be cool—that just makes things worse.

There’s nothing that your innate lameness can reverse.

But take comfor that in a few years (say about ten)

You just might be OK again.


Here’s your theme music, My Generation by The Who from The Kids Are Alright (that’s what the new movie is named after). The video clip is from their appearance on the Smothers Brothers show, a very influential and (though they don’t look it) progressive comedy/variety show from the late 1960s. I set it to start after their intro, but you should definitely go back and listen to the whole thing afterwards. It’s hilarious, and further illustrative of my point.


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