July 11th, 2014
Inspired by Bryan Fischer Is Not A Fan Of Burger King’s Proud Whopper (RightWingWatch 7/11/14), and the Burger King song.
“This one Burger King restaurant in San Francisco came out with something called the ‘Proud Whopper’ and it’s got the rainbow colors on it and all that…The concern obviously is if this isn’t bottled up in San Francisco, this kind of nonsense, then it’s gonna be spreading across the entire fruited plain, and you’re gonna be going to your Burger King in Des Moines, Iowa, and you’re gonna be having a rainbow colored wrapper for your whopper… When people sit down to eat a hamburger, the last thing they want to be thinking about is two guys having sex.” – Bryan Fischer on his radio show yesterday
Hold the pickle? Hold the lettuce?
Special orders do upset us!
It’s fine if you want to have it your way,
Unless of course, you happen to be gay.
By the way, though this news may make you depressed,
There are gays in Des Moines, and throughout the Midwest.
(Why do you think they call the plain fruited.)
And if a striped wrapper makes you think about two guys having sex
With the sweat dripping down their sculpted pecs,
Sorry Bryan, but those thoughts give you away:
That’s pretty good indication that you’re probably gay.
Here’s your theme song for today, which was Burger King’s “Have It Your Way” theme song while I was growing up. Like most baby boomers, I memorized the lyrics and sang it happily whenever we drove by a Burger King.
Here’s the soul version.