Happy is Happy (or, the 5500 Pound Virgin)

November 13th, 2009

Inspired by “Happy embraces a whole new dating pool: In Milwaukee, National Zoo’s ol’ hippo becomes quite the emotionally buoyant bachelor” (Washington Post 11/12/09).

I liked Happy the Hippo

And was sorry to see him go.

He was a long-time fixture

At our zoo, you know.

 

But if Happy is happy in Milwaukee

As he seems to be,

Then sending Happy to Milwaukee

Is OK with me.

 

In DC, he was lonely:

Of hippos, he was the only.

He lived with his mom before,

But she died in 2004.

 

Now he’s got a new girlfriend—

Puddles is her name.

And when she’s around,

Happy doesn’t act the same.

 

At 5500 pounds

Happy’s main interest used to be eating.

But now he’s far more interested

In the ladies he’s been meeting.

 

But where do you begin

If you’re a 5500 pound virgin?

You start by hanging out at the “Howdy Gate”

And eventually you get to conjugate.

 

So Happy,

I wish all the best to you

And look forward to future appearance of

Many little Happies too.

 

PS:

Hippos, like elephants, often resist change

And are afraid of things they think are strange.

But as Happy the Hippo conclusively proved

Change often leads to things being improved.

***

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