Happy Birthday Obamacare (Too Bad Your Dad Thinks You’re Not His and Wants to Kill You)

March 23rd, 2012

A follow-up to last year’s anniversary piece, What to Expect When You’re Reforming, on this the second anniversary of President Obama’s signing of the healthcare reform law.

 

Healthcare reform is now a two-year old child,

In honor of which I these 121 poems have compiled.

 

After two years, Republicans still hate the poor kid,

And have made his death the key goal of their presidential bid.

 

They claim he’s not theirs, even though paternity tests say

That healthcare reform had mostly Republican DNA.

 

Instead, the Right questions the circumstances of Obamacare’s birth

And keeps trying to bury healthcare reform in six feet of earth.

 

Sure, a toddler’s terrible twos can be tough,

But aren’t two years of calling for infanticide enough?

 

Though Republicans may not like the idea, it’s their baby too,

And killing your own child is not something any parent should do.

 

Republicans, why can’t you love this child as your own

Instead of trying your own reform legacy to disown?

 

I get your reluctance, healthcare reform to embrace:

After all, if you admit parentage, you alienate your base.

 

But the kid sure looks just like you did when you were his age,

So why does his cute little face fill you with rage?

 

Maybe you weren’t sure you wanted a baby two years ago,

But do you have to towards the kid so much hostility show?

 

Health reform’s not Satan’s or socialism’s spawn:

You opposed single-payer and the public option, and won.

 

It’s still a free market system, albeit regulated,

And that’s no reason for this child to be so hated.

 

Next week, SCOTUS decides once and for all if Obama’s baby is legit.

If they do, I hope you Republicans will finally your parentage admit.

 

And I hope one day, you’ll look upon Obamacare with pride,

And accept the child that Republicans for two years have denied.

***

Here’s your theme music, Birthday by the Beatles. Click here to see how the healthcare reform law has benefited you and your family.

Here’s Chuck Todd’s review this morning of healthcare reform at the two-year mark.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Here are Hardball’s 3/19/12 and 3/23/12 reports, featuring Mother Jones’ journalist and Hardball regular David Corn discussing healthcare reform, the Supreme Court case next week, and Corn’s new book with the inside story about how the reform bill was passed. Romneycare of course features prominently in the discussion, and Neera Tanden refers to the Heritage Foundation’s development of the individual mandate idea.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Here’s my collection of healthcare reform poems:

1)      Health Insurance Reform and the Public Option July 29, 2009
2)      Cash for Clunkers and Healthcare Reform August 5, 2009
3)      Sarah Palin’s Death Panel Fantasy August 14, 2009
4)      Dr. Seuss’s Prescription for Healthcare Reform August 16, 2009
5)      Sen. Grassley and Healthcare Reform August 21, 2009
6)      Newt’s Beaut August 26, 2009
7)      Tribute to Sen. Ted Kennedy August 26, 2009
8)      Senator Enzi and Healthcare Reform September 3, 2009
9)      Senioritis September 5, 2009
10)   Healthcare Reform’s Slippery Slope September 6, 2009
11)   Tort and Healthcare Reform September 6, 2009
12)   Ode to Al September 8, 2009
13)   She’s Baack… September 9, 2009
14)   The Price is Wrong September 14, 2009
15)   In Memory of Elizabeth Rickey September 18, 2009
16)   Our great country September 19, 2009
17)   Student Loans September 22, 2009
18)   Banter with Cantor September 23, 2009
19)   Gridlock September 29, 2009
20)   Sen. Ensign’s unhealthy behavior October 1, 2009
21)   America’s Choice October 3, 2009
22)   In praise of the younger generation October 4, 2009
23)   Grayson’s Place October 6, 2009
24)   The Individual Mandate October 6, 2009
25)   Jindal’s Swindle October 8, 2009
26)   Snowe Warms and Roberts Rambles October 13, 2009
27)   Baucus Bill Swill October 13, 2009
28)   50% Chance of Snowe October 13, 2009
29)   Tort reform October 14, 2009
30)   Attention: Deficit Disorder October 18, 2009
31)   E Tu Lieberman? October 30, 2009
32)   It’s Alive! October 31, 2009
33)   Happy Halloween October 31, 2009
34)   Return of Boehner the Complainer November 1, 2009
35)   Two Teddy’s November 5, 2009
36)   The House Hands Down Healthcare (…But Poet Poe Follows a Higher Law) November 8, 2009
37)   The Lone Changer November 10, 2009
38)   The Party of No x 176 November 10, 2009
39)   A Deadly Epidemic November 14, 2009
40)   Into the Lions’ Den November 16, 2009
41)   Chanson d’Automne November 19, 2009
42)   A Reid in the Wind November 20, 2009
43)   The Louisiana Purchase November 22, 2009
44)   Kill Bill Vol. 1 (or, Thune’s Goons) December 6, 2009
45)   Kill Bill Vol. 2 (or, the Escape Hatch) December 7, 2009
46)   Kill Bill Vol. 3 (or, Under Lord Nelson’s Command) December 8, 2009
47)   Kill Bill Vol. 4 (or, Death of a Thousand Cuts) December 9, 2009
48)   How It’s Done December 10, 2009
49)   Kill Bill Vol. 5 (or, the Running Blue Dogs of Big Health) December 10, 2009
50)   Harry Reid and the Half-Baked Plan December 11, 2009
51)   Medicare Buy In Sell Out December 16, 2009
52)   The Full Nelson December 17, 2009
53)   Kill Bill Vol. 6 (Revenge of the Left) December 19, 2009
54)   Afraid of Santa December 20, 2009
55)   Taken January 3, 2010
56)   A Coakley and a Smile January 17, 2010
57)   Mass. Effect (or, Bust the Filibuster?) January 19, 2010
58)   Mass. Deception January 22, 2010
59)   Kill Bill Vol. 7 (or, The Final Scene?) January 23, 2010
60)   Mass. Effect: Revelation (or, Biden His Time) January 28, 2010
61)   Tour de Farce February 1, 2010
62)   Goodbye Tai Shan February 5, 2010
63)   Let’s Get Together February 9, 2010
64)   The Bridgekeeper (or, Dictatorship of the Teapartitariat) February 10, 2010
65)   Meet the Spartans? (or, 353) February 14, 2010
66)   A Tale of Two Summits February 28, 2010
67)   Profit Panels March 3, 2010
68)   Down the Hatch March 10, 2010
69)   Republican Care Tactics March 12, 2010
70)   Natoma March 15, 2010
71)   Graham Cracker March 15, 2010
72)   Tick Tock March 15, 2010
73)   Last Chance to Catch the (Public) Bus March 15, 2010
74)   Reconciligeddon (or, Hey Judd, Don’t Be Afraid) March 16, 2010
75)   Truth or Consequences March 16, 2010
76)   Happy St. Patrick’s Day March 17, 2010
77)   The Byrd Bath March 17, 2010
78)   Repeal Reveal March 18, 2010
79)   Whip It Good! March 20, 2010
80)   Kill Bill Vol. 8 (or: No, You Can Not) March 21, 2010
81)   I’m Stupak (or, Bart is Back) March 21, 2010
82)   Health Haters March 21, 2010
83)   Waterloo (or, The Republican Guard’s Last Stand Against Healthcare) March 22, 2010
84)   What’s It All About, Alfie March 22, 2010
85)   Baby Killer March 23, 2010
86)   Making (Up) History March 23, 2010
87)   Mass. Effect: Retribution (or, Thanks Scott Brown) March 24, 2010
88)   The Tree of Liberty (or, Nurse Ratched Attacks the Individual Mandate) March 24, 2010
89)   No You Can’t March 24, 2010
90)   Arsonists (or, Inciting the Lesser Angels of Our Nature) March 25, 2010
91)   Lemon Pledge March 26, 2010
92)   A Clean Bill of Health March 26, 2010
93)   Exit Stage Right (or, the GOP’s ‘Binge and Purge’ Eating Their Own Disorder) March 26, 2010
94)   Glenn’s Magic Blackboard March 27, 2010
95)   Kudos Madame Speaker March 28, 2010
96)   Like a Lion (or, The Democratic Pride) March 30, 2010
97)   Healthcare Chicken (or, Speaking Out Lowden Clear April 23, 2010
98)   Bass-o-matic (or, Join the Tea Party) April 27, 2010
99)   Tan-gelo Tax (or: Why Prince John of Orange Hates the Healthcare Bill) May 6, 2010
100)           The (Tan) Line Must Be Drawn Here July 2, 2010
101)           Think of the Children September 21, 2010
102)           Shep Steps Up December 21, 2010
103)           One More Week January 14, 2011
104)           Resuming Thoughtful Consideration January 16, 2011
105)           Boehnercare (or: Why “Repeal and Replace” Is So Obviously Stupid) January 17, 2011
106)           Unreal Repeal February 2, 2011
107)           Takeaway Message February 9, 2011
108)           The Real Individual Mandate March 4, 2011
109)           Don’t Hate the Mandate (or: My HSA Stroke of Genius) March 8, 2011
110)           John Boehner Loves France (…Sometimes) March 17, 2011
111)           What to Expect When You’re Reforming (or: 111 Poems to Celebrate the Healthcare Reform Law’s First Anniversary) March 23, 2011
112)           Premature Greed (or: KVarma’s a Bitch) March 30, 2011
113)           Ther Rx is Still Too Greedy April 2, 2011
114)           Happy Romneycare Day (And By the Way, I’m Running) April 12, 2011
115)           There’s Gold On That There Hill November 18, 2011
116)           Disgrace for the Cure February 2, 2012
117)           Vict-her-y February 3, 2012
118)           Firing People, In Context January 9, 2012
119)           Happy Valentine’s Day, Women of America February 14, 2012
120)           Women’s History Month (…Republican Style) March 1, 2012
121)           Happy Birthday Obamacare (Too Bad Your Dad Thinks You’re Not His and Wants to Kill You) March 23, 2012
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