Hannity In My Pocket

October 15th, 2010

Inspired by Christine O’Donnell Tells GOPers: ‘I’ve Got Sean Hannity In My Back Pocket’ (Howard Fineman, Huffington Post 10/14/10). Christine O’Donnell goes from channeling Christine Amphlett to channeling Alanis Morissette (check out my modified lyrics to her Hand In My Pocket below). 

“I’ve got Sean Hannity in my back pocket, and I can go on his show and raise money by attacking you guys.” – Christine O’Donnell at a strategy meeting with GOP insiders 

Hand In My Pocket

Hannity In My Pocket

I’m broke but I’m happy

I’m broke but I’m happy

I’m poor but I’m kind

I’m poor but unkind

I’m short but I’m healthy, yeah

I think sex is unhealthy, yeah



I’m high but I’m grounded

I hate activist judges

I’m sane but I’m overwhelmed

But can’t name a single case.

I’m lost but I’m hopeful baby

I’m lost and I’m hopeless baby

What it all comes down to

What it all comes down to

Is that everything’s gonna be fine fine fine

Is that everything’s gonna be fine fine fine

’cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket

’cause I’ve got Sean Hannity in my pocket

And the other one is giving a high five

And he’s giving me a high five.



I feel drunk but I’m sober

I act drunk but I’m sober

I’m young and I’m underpaid

I’m young but I’m chaste

I’m tired but I’m working, yeah

I’m tired of campaigning, yeah

I care but I’m restless

I’m not like you heard

I’m here but I’m really gone

I’m me but I’m really you

I’m wrong and I’m sorry baby

I’m wrong and I’m sorry baby



What it all comes down to

What it all comes down to

Is that everything’s gonna be quite alright

Is that everything’s gonna be quite alright

’cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket

’cause I’ve got Sean Hannity in my pocket

And the other one is flicking a cigarette

And I can use him to raise money.



And what it all comes down to

And what it all comes down to

Is that I haven’t got it all figured out just yet

Is that I haven’t got it all figured out just yet

’cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket

’cause I’ve got Sean Hannity in my pocket

And the other one is giving the peace sign

And we’ll get those darn GOP insiders.



I’m free but I’m focused

I love eating meatballs

I’m green but I’m wise

I think lab mice have human brains

I’m hard but I’m friendly baby

Why aren’t monkeys are still evolving?

I’m sad but I’m laughing

I’m sad but I’m laughing

I’m brave but I’m chickenshit

I rave but I’m not a witch.

I’m sick but I’m pretty baby

I’m pure but I’m pretty baby



And what it all boils down to

And what it all boils down to

Is that no one’s really got it figured out just yet

Is that no one’s really got it figured out just yet

’cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket

’cause I’ve got Sean Hannity in my pocket

And the other one is playing the piano

And he never asks me any hard questions.



And what it all comes down to my friends

And what it all comes down to my friends

Is that everything’s just fine fine fine

Is that everything’s just fine fine fine

’cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket

’cause I’ve got Sean Hannity in my pocket

And the other one is hailing a taxi cab

I’ll go to Washington and do what you’d do.

***

Here’s Howard Fineman last night on Countdown.

Here’s your theme music, Hand In My Pocket by Alanis Morissette. I was sure Keith would play Howard out with this, but since he didn’t, I’ll do the honors with my own little Hannity in My Pocket medley (thanks to the Young Turks for assembling some of the clips).

Feeling ambitious? Then use this karaoke version (or one of these) to re-record the song with the modified lyrics above (or your own), email me the link, and I’ll post it. In case you missed it, I worked some of the text from O’Donnell’s original ad (shown in full below, along with the text) into the song.

“I’m not a witch. I’m nothing you’ve heard. I’m you. None of us are perfect, but none of us can be happy with what we see all around us: politicians who think spending, trading favors and back-room deals are the ways to stay in office. I’ll go to Washington and do what you’d do. I’m Christine O’Donnell, and I approve this message. I’m you.” — Christine O’Donnell ad
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