Hail to the Rednecks

January 5th, 2011

Inspired by It’s time once again to tell Washington’s football team to ditch the ‘Redskins’ racist moniker (Courtland Milloy, Washington Post 1/05/10).


Courtland Milloy makes a good point,

But should Native Americans be so out of joint?


Still, since they seem to be offended,

It makes sense for the teams’s name to be amended.


Here’s an idea for something more politic:

Changing “skins” to “necks” should do the trick.


The new name would catch on before long

(You wouldn’t even have to change the song).


“Skins” fans say they honor Native Americans by extolling their valor.

Isn’t it time that we honored Americans of a lighter pallor?


The American Redneck is the real man of the hour.

Didn’t the mid-term elections just demonstrate his power?


Wouldn’t this name change show Rednecks equal admiration,

Thus beginning the process of helping them take back “their” nation?


(Native Americans point out the land was originally theirs,

But I’m not one for splitting hairs.)


With all these new Republicans coming to DC,

This would give them some hometown familiarity.


They could look down from their luxury boxes, content,

Just like they look down on the rednecks they represent.


Plus, with the new name, all we Washington elites

Can be reminded of our superiority when the team competes.


And since they’re not PC and all,

The rednecks of America shouldn’t mind at all.

***

Here’s your theme music, Hail to the Redskins, followed by suggested new lyrics below. NB: “Fight for old Dixie” was actually the original line, but it was changed to “D.C.” because of the slavery connotations. Now, we can change it back! Before the Dallas Cowboys were created in 1960, the Redskins were actually the country’s Southern-most team, so the team appealed to a broader Southern audience (not to mention that then-team owner George Preston Marshall was considered the “leading racist in the NFL“). Also check out the other cool Redskins stuff below.

 


Current Version

Original Version

Proposed New Version

Hail to the Redskins!

Hail to the Redskins!

Hail to the Rednecks!

Hail to victory!

Hail to victory!

Hail to victory!

Braves on the war path!

Braves on the war path!

Whites on the war path!

Fight for old D.C!

Fight for old Dixie!

Fight for old Dixie!

Run or pass and score,

Scalp em, Swamp em,

We want things like before

We want a lot more!

We will take em big score!

Or we won’t be the majority anymore!

Beat em, Swamp em, Touchdown,

Read em, Weep em Touchdown,

Beat em, Swamp em, Keep em down,

Let the points soar!

We want heaps more!

We’ve got too much black, red, and brown

Fight on… Fight On…

Fight on… Fight On…

Fight on… Fight On…

Til you have won,

Til you have won,

Til we have won

Sons of Washington!

Sons of Washington!

Against Washington!

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2 Responses to “Hail to the Rednecks”

  1. Tweets that mention Newsericks » Blog Archive » Hail to the Rednecks -- Topsy.com Says:

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Newsericks, Newsericks. Newsericks said: Native Americans don’t like the #Redskins team name, so how about this new one? http://newsericks.com/hail-to-the-rednecks #politicalpoetry […]

  2. Newsericks » Blog Archive » Hail to the Pigskins Says:

    […] follow-up to http://newsericks.com/hail-to-the-rednecks/, in all seriousness, why not just call them the Pigskins? That way they could still keep the […]

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