Going After the Swing(er) Vote (or: Is Newt’s Marriage Open for Funny Business?)

January 19th, 2012

Inspired by Newt Gingrich’s impassioned defense of traditional marriage.

 

“I said to him, we’ve been married a long time. And he said, yes, but you want me all to yourself. Callista doesn’t care what I do. He was asking to have an open marriage, and I refused… That is not a marriage.” – Marianne Gingrich interview released this morning
 
“I’ve been very open about my life.” – Newt’s response (“open” Newt? Maybe not the best choice of words.)
 
“When a liberal talks about values, will he or she actually like us to teach American history? Will they actually like young people to learn that George Washington was an ethical man? A man of standards, a man who earned the right to be father of this country?” – from Newt speech entitled “The Demise of American Culture” given to the Republican Women Leaders Forum the day after he asked Marianne for an open marriage
 
Oh another night, another day
You sent my love someone else’s way
You rocked and rolled while i walked the floor
What kind of fool do you take me for.
    — The Riot (Maryanne, from the album
The Privilege Of Power)

 

Newt has always been a big marriage fan,

So much so that he’s repeatedly become a married man.

 

Newt’s support for marriage has been phenomenal,

As long as the marriage itself is nominal.

 

It turns out that Newt’s definition of “traditional”

Is itself highly conditional.

 

It depends on who Newt feels like sleeping with at the time.

What’s the big deal? Adultery’s not a crime.

 

(Actually, it still is, in many states,

And we all what penalty the Bible for adultery creates.)

 

We always knew that Newt was an adulterous cad,

But you’d think this would make conservative Christians even more mad.

 

And for the gay Americans whom Newt would deny the rights guaranteed by our democracy,

This just makes his defense of “traditional marriage” smack even more of hypocrisy.

 

Marianne Gingrich’s statement could also a whole new can of worms open:

Is Newt’s marriage to Callista still (as Marianne claims) “open”?

 

And is Callista sleeping around too,

Or is that something just Newt is allowed to do?

 

It’s a riot that this is what Newt uses his privilege of power for.

Newt, what kind of fools do you take us for?

***

Here’s your theme music, Maryanne, by The Riot from the album The Privilege of Power.  (Eerily a propos, given Newt’s explanation that it was all the pressure of being in charge as Speaker and his great love of country that led him to stray from his marriage vows before.  Imagine what the pressures of being President would do to him!)

 

Here’s the video clip of Marianne Gingrich’s statement.

Here’s Now’s panel discussion, including video clips of both Marianne Gingrich’s and Newt’s statements.

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