April 14th, 2010
A follow up to my earlier posts Gay Pets and Crazy Like a PFOX, inspired by this comment to my earlier gay pets post by Gaypets.net. Read the poem (or skip it if you prefer… but I hope you don’t), and then please fill out the survey below (after filling in your answers, you can see what the tabulated results to date are, and I’ll also publish an analysis later). I’m hoping that I’ll be able to use the information thereby gained as evidence against some of the unscientific assertions that anti-gay activists are increasingly making. And if you have a gay pet, show your gay-pet-pride by purchasing one of these excellent and well-made bumper stickers from www.gaypets.net.
Are your pets gay?
If so, please fill in this survey.
If they’re straight or bi, fill that in too
(There are also some questions that ask about you).
Why do I want to know this stuff?
Don’t people already talk about gay things enough?
Actually, I’m interested in knowing five things,
And hope this survey the answers brings.
First, I’m interested in seeing
If a pet’s chance of being gay is like a human being.
Second, I want to see if pets are born gay
Of if they later end up “turning” that way.
Third, I’d like to assess
If pet gayness correlates to horniness.
Fourth, I’d like to determine
If keeping straight pets around gays will turn ‘em.
And fifth, I want to know if owner sexuality
Influences their pets’ “abnormality.”
Please forgive me if this survey offended.
Believe me, that wasn’t intended.
And finally, please allow me to in closing observe
That all pets a loving household deserve.
So if you don’t have a pet and want one (straight or gay),
Go to Petfinder.com and adopt one today.
CLICK HERE TO FILL OUT OUR GAY PETS SURVEY.