Dazing Arizona (or: My Live Blog of the Arizona Debate)

February 22nd, 2012

This is the 20th and possibly last debate (updated live as the debate continued).

 

CNN include pithy blurbs about each candidate in their intro

(It seems more like a cheap reality show).

 

The candidates walk out and wish each other good luck

(Newt Gingrich kind of waddles out like a duck).

 

Mitt, it wasn’t Obama who that promise broke:

It’s the GOP attempt, the 99% to choke.

 

You really think states could do better running Medicare,

Or is it just that like Paul Ryan, you don’t really care?

 

You say you’re severely conservative?

It seems to me that you’re election-yearly conservative.

 

You’re really coming on strong, attacking earmarks—

Who knew Rick Santorum was really Karl Marx.

 

Rick fights back by attacking Mitt’s bail-out flip flop

(Neither one wanted, the auto industry’s destruction to stop).

 

The audience responds to the birth control question with boos

(They know this is an issue on which Republicans will lose).

 

On birth control, Newt reprises his “how dare you” moment with John King

(You can blame the liberal media for anything).

 

Mitt and Rick engage in a face-to-face battle to the death

(I hope neither one of them has badbreath).

 

When Rick raises the hated Obamacare specter,

Romney blames Rick’s endorsement of Arlen Specter.

 

Romney also points out that Santorum endorsed him in 2008

And says that he was a true conservative and great.

 

(That’s two new parries to Santorum’s Romneycare attack,

By which Santorum was surprised and taken aback.)

 

Now they’re talking about illegal immigration and building the fence,

The only thing on which Repubs are willing to spare no expense.

 

Now they each get to chose a one-word depiction

(An exercise in self-contradiction).

 

Ron Paul is insistent

That he’s consistent.

 

Santorum is courageous and Romney resolute

(At least one of those statements is in dispute).

 

But by far the biggest earful

Is that our friend Newt is cheerful.

 

On defense Rick with the “two gentlemen to his left” agrees

(That’s because Rick is to the right of almost everyone he sees).

 

Newt saysIranfrom getting a nuke must be forbade

(Now he’s earning the money that Sheldon paid).

 

Mitt guaranteesIranwill get a nuke if Obama is Pres,

But not if he is, Mitt says.

(I believe it’s not a lie—

Read this to see why.)

 

Rick is criticized for being a team player

Instead of a Big Government slayer.

 

Even Ron Paul wouldn’t give Santorum a break,

Calling him (to his face) a fake.

 

The final question: what’s the misconception

That affects each candidate’s public perception.

 

Ron and Rick says their myth is that they can’t win

(Rick said it seriously, and Ron with a grin).

 

Newt’s cross is that people don’t know how hard he works

(He’s said before that was the cause of his sexual quirks).

 

Mitt says the misconception is thatAmericadoesn’t understand

How perfect the guy is they think they can’t stand.

 

And so the twentieth GOP debate is done.

Gee, wasn’t that just so much fun?

 

After two hours of GOP talking points, I’m a little dazed

(No wonder people who listen to Fox all day are crazed).

***

Here’s the debate. See what I mean about the cheesy reality show intro?

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