Cutting Columbus

October 10th, 2011

A follow-up to last year’s The First Illegals, we ask what would have happened if the GOP and Tea Party had been in power in Europe back in 1492.

Back in the year


Columbus couldn’t find funding to sail

The ocean blue.


“I need money to repair my ships,”

Columbus said.

No,” said Prince Bonero,

“We need it for tax cuts for the nobles instead.


“But we have lots of unemployed sailors,”

Columbus lamented,

“Who left without work will become

Increasingly discontented.”


No,” said Lord Mayor McConnellas,

“It wouldn’t create any permanent jobs

To hire all those lazy

Out of work slobs.”


“But a modest investment

Will produce billions in silver and gold,

And other income without end,

National wealth untold!”


No,” said Count Cantorus,

That’s government spending,

Which we in the Pardido de Té

Are pledged to ending.


Because of the worsening

European economic crisis,

None of the other European countries

Could afford the voyage’s prices.


“I guess,” said Chris

“I’ll borrow from the Chinese.

And then they’ll own the New World

Beyond our seas.”


Are you as sick of the GOP’s strategy of just saying no to everything, even policies they previously supported? Then click here to read my jobs, infrastructure, and revenue ideas, and sign this petition to tell the President and Congress that America needs a real plan for jobs and economic growth. If the Tea Party had been in charge back in Columbus’s time, there wouldn’t have been a United Sates of America. And if we let the GOP have it’s way now, there may not be one for much longer.

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