CPAC’s Dirty Dozen

February 19th, 2010

“Welcome to the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy.” – Cleta Mitchell, American Conservative Union Foundation, opening the meeting

This year’s Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) began Thursday in Washington, DC. It’s a star-studded cast of conservative characters, led by the “Dirty Dozen” (my own designation and selection) of the Right Wing. I will profile each of that inaugust group over the next few days, so stay tuned.

 The Conservative Political Action Conference started yesterday.

They have a lot of interesting things to say.

Here are CPAC’s “Dirty Dozen” who I’ll in subsequent posts individually introduce,

And (if you can stand it), video of their speeches reproduce:

  1. Dick Armey
  2. Michele Bachmann
  3. Dick Cheney
  4. Ann Coulter
  5. Jim DeMint
  6. Newt Gingrich
  7. Jenny Beth Martin
  8. Ron Paul
  9. Tom Price
  10. Marco Rubio
  11. Rick Santorum
  12. Ryan Sorba
  13. George Will

That’s thirteen, you might point out:

Why add an extra member of the conservative devout?

Is it because any group like this run amuck

Is by its nature (for the country) bad luck?

Or is it in the tradition of the “baker’s dozen” thirteen,

In which that extra item’s provision is foreseen?

That would have been a reasonable approach to take

Since CPAC’s ideas are all half-baked.

But actually neither were the basis for deciding of whom the “dozen” would consist—

I just couldn’t decide who was the least dirty to leave off of the list.

And where’s Glenn Beck, you might inquire?

Why, he’s the leader of this unholy choir.

I was unfortunately forced to leave out of my quorum

Miscreants like Coulter and Santorum.

They’re as bad as any of the “dozen” I know,

But their speeches weren’t available on video.

So please enjoy the following medley.

And DC residents: if you cross paths with these characters, stay clear – they’re deadly.


Here’s a list of CPSPAN videos from the CPAC meeting (or, watch individual videos with our posts). For live Twitter feeds, search #CPAC10. Click here for the next post in the series, or click on one of the names on the list above (if there’s no hyperlink it means I haven’t done that one yet), or go through the posts (including several miscellaneous ones) in reverse chronological order by clicking here.

Here’s the movie (a classic WW2 film) from which this post takes its name (watch the trailer below).

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3 Responses to “CPAC’s Dirty Dozen”

  1. Newsericks » Blog Archive » Telestomper Says:

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