Clean (?) Sweep in VA

November 3rd, 2009

Inspired (though that’s not really the right word) by VA’s Republican sweep.  

What do we learn from the election in VA

In which Republicans decisively won the day?


We learned that if you’ve got extreme social and political views,

You need to do your best, voters to confuse.

Emphasize your pragmatism

And  run on personal magnetism.


Cultivate the art of speaking out of both sides of your mouth

By appearing more conservative as you get farther South.

When speaking to a more Liberal audience

Emphasize your common sense.


It also helps if your opponent is not too charismatic

(Or even better, a little phlegmatic).

If he attacks your background,

Portray his policies and politics as unsound.


Mr. Deeds, maybe you weren’t the best candidate

(You didn’t even do that well upstate).

Still, I won’t be like some and say

I never liked you anyway.


In retrospect, maybe you did come across as creating too much drama,

And I do think it was wrong to distance yourself from Obama.

You did sometimes appear to be tongue-tied

Which your opponent did not hesitate to deride.


As far as you’re concerned, Cuccinelli,

As I said before, you obviously have fire in your belly.

But your views are even more extreme

Than the rest of the Republican team.


Now that the electorate’s made it’s decision,

I know you’ll take full advantage of the AG position.

But remember, the only reason you prevailed

Is because you were coat-tailed.


Yes, some want to paint VA as a referendum on the President

Or as proof of nationwide discontent.

But Obama’s approval rating in VA was still high

So I think that portrayal’s a lie.


I think it’s just that Republicans had the better (seeming) candidate,

Just like Dems did (but for real) in 2008.

This time, VA has chosen to go Republican instead.

And now will have to sleep in that bed

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