Archive for the ‘Religion’ Category

Lord of the Firestorm

Thursday, February 20th, 2014

Inspired by Boykin: When Jesus Comes Back, He’ll Be Carrying An AR-15 Assault Rifle ( 2/19/1414:52).



 “The Lord is a warrior and in Revelation 19 is says when he comes back, he’s coming back as what? A warrior. A might warrior leading a mighty army, riding a white horse with a blood-stained white robe … I believe that blood on that robe is the blood of his enemies ’cause he’s coming back as a warrior carrying a sword. And I believe now – I’ve checked this out – I believe that sword he’ll be carrying when he comes back is an AR-15.” — anti-gay lobbying group Family Research Council Executive VP Jerry Boykin
“On that day, when evening had come, He said to them, ‘Let us go across to the other side.’ And leaving the crowd behind, they took Him with them in the boat, just as He was. Other boats were with Him. A great gale arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that the boat was already being swamped. But He was in the stern, asleep on the cushion; and they woke Him up and said to Him, ‘Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?’ He woke up and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, ‘Peace! Be still!’ Then the wind ceased, and there was a dead calm. He said to them, ‘Why are you afraid? Have you still no faith?’ And they were filled with great awe and said to one another, ‘Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?’” — Mark 4:35-41


When Jesus again to Earth comes down,

What “enemies” does Boykin believe will be mowed down?


Whose blood will stain Jesus’s white robe

When He comes to cleanse our filthy globe?


I guess the gays will be the first to be shot.

(God hates fags, in case you forgot.)


Worldwide, that’s a lot of dead fags.

(Luckily, Jesus has extended mags.)


Will other targets be simultaneous or successive?

Can Jesus simultaneously shoot the non-Christian and the progressive?


And don’t forget our President,

Believed by the “faithful” all Evil to represent.


Sorry, Jerry, but Jesus is a storm stiller,

Not an firestorm-creating blood-soaked spree killer.


And though it may disappoint your mujahedeen,

Jesus won’t return with a sword or AR-15.


He’ll return with open arms to welcome all,

Not semi-automatic arms to avenge the Fall.


But here’s something you and your followers may bemoan:

Heaven, it turns out, is a gun-free zone.


If you want high-powered weaponry after death as well,

Then you and your followers need to head down to Hell.


Here’s Boykin.


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