Canned Ole Opry (or, Minnie Pearl and the Tea Party)

February 9th, 2010

Inspired by Fractious first Tea Party Convention gets underway (Washington Post 2/05/10).

“If you take 1,000 so-called tea partiers and ask them what this movement is, you’ll get 1,000 different interpretations. But they’re all waving American flags and speaking out against the galloping socialist agenda.” — right-wing talk-radio host and chairman of the Tea Party Express Mark Williams
“As with all grass-roots efforts, the nature of this movement means that sometimes the debates are loud and the organization is messier than that of a polished, controlled machine. Legitimate disagreements take place about tone and tactics. That’s OK, because this movement is about bigger things than politics or organizers.” – Sarah Palin speaking in Nashville at the Grand Ole Opry
“Uncle Nabob wasn’t a failure, he just started at the bottom and liked it there.” – vaudeville comedian and long-time Opry performer Minnie Pearl

The Tea Party convention was held in Nashville

In a failed attempt, unity and organization to instill.

Sarah spoke on Saturday.

I wasn’t surprised at what she had to say.

It was her first major speech in a year and a half.

Watching it, I just had to laugh.

AP’s Sidoti called her speech “short on ideas

(At least now she knows the difference between the two Koreas).

She stuck with GOP bromides of low taxes and national defense

(It could be she doesn’t have more to say, in her defense).

Though lately she’s been critical of Obama’s use of a teleprompter.

Sarah made it so one was not necessary to prompt her.

Instead, she wrote her notes on her hand

(No wonder her speech came across a little bit canned).

She said “America is ready for another revolution”

(Too me that sounds like too extreme a solution),

And that the tea party movement would lead it

(Sarah, teabaggers are filled with enough anger–you don’t need to feed it).

The New York Post said her speech was “the framework of a presidential-campaign platform

(I.e., it’s purpose was to score points rather than to inform).

MSNBC carried her speech live until it ended

(They didn’t cut her off like Fox with Obama condescended).

It’s fitting that the speech was held in the Ole Opry House

Where famous comedian Minnie Pearl once brought down the house.

Like Sarah, Minnie knew how to make the crowd roar

And keep them wanting to come back for more.

Like Sarah, Minnie came across as a simple country girl,

Though it was less of an act with Minnie Pearl.

Like Sarah, Minnie came across as a bit of a tease

And give people what she knew would please.

Like Sarah, Minnie talked a lot about her home town,

Rising quickly from obscurity to national renown.

Like Sarah, Minnie spouted folksy wisdom and joked,

And let people feel superior to those her humor evoked.

Like Sarah, Minnie had ‘ne’er-do-well’ relatives

(Family is family, and so one forgives).

Like Sarah, Minnie was hot, but not threateningly so

(Sex sells with conservatives too, you know).

Like Sarah, Minnie exuded humility and good cheer

(Here opening line was “Howdy, I’m jes’ so proud to be here!”).

Like Sarah, Minnie closed with emotional flirts

(Here close was “I love you so much it hurts!”).

But the main thing that contributed to Minnie’s appeal

Was that she came across to her fans as “real”.

That’s a characteristic Sarah has also,

But in Sarah’s case, it’s just for show.

Like back then, tickets sold out.

Like back then, followers were devout.

Like back then, there were music and lights,

And like back then, they only let in the whites.

But the crowd’s “wild enthusiasm” masked contention

(Perhaps that was always the intention).

Even before it started, the event was shadowed by disputes:

Organizers were condemned for trying to make money instead of serve the grass roots.

The convention “smells scammy,” said in their review,

And two of the main Tea Party umbrella groups withdrew.

It seems Teabaggers don’t just complain about Obama,

They also have plenty of their own internal drama.

Two featured Tea Party darlings also pulled out

(Michele Bachmann and Marsha Blackburn—what’s that about?). 

And as is often the case for a popular movement’s first convention,

A few basic things didn’t receive much attention.

Speakers lost their notes and/or seemed of time limits to be unaware;

And they forgot to begin with Pledge of Allegiance or a prayer.

Nobody thought to bring an American flag.

(And these are the people who about their patriotism brag?)

Just like the Party of No which they lead by the nose,

Teabaggers are united only in the things they oppose.

As House Minority Leader Boehner said in an interview recently,

There’s “no difference” in the beliefs of Teabaggers and the GOP.

For her appearance, Palin received a $100K fee,

But claimed she won’t “benefit financially.”

“Any compensation for my appearance will go right back to the cause,”

A statement that was greeted with happy applause.

Of course, Sarah didn’t say how that money would be spent,

So maybe that means it’s going into her campaign for president.

Because though she protests the movement isn’t about individual figures,

She’s not about to turn down six figures.


Here’s Sarah Palin’s speech.


Here’s a medley of Chris Matthews’ 2/09/10 report on the Sarah Palin and her convention speech, along with some more Sarah shenanigans edited in by a clever Youtube.

Here’s Keith Olbermann’s 2/09/10 report on Palin’s speech (with her left hand as his special guest).

Here’s Jon Stewart’s 2/08/10 report.

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And here’s the famous Minnie Pearl.

Here she is with her “cousin” Rodney.

Here are clips of Minnie at different stages of her career flirting (and talking about flirting) with a variety of folks, including GB1 and GOP icon Ronald Reagan.

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2 Responses to “Canned Ole Opry (or, Minnie Pearl and the Tea Party)”

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