Bureaus by Any Other Name (or, Name That Buffoon)

June 23rd, 2010

The Minerals Management Service (MMS) has renamed itself the Bureau of Ocean Energy Management Regulation and Enforcement (BOEMRE, or BOE for short). As Gelato points out in What’s in a name? Will BOE smell sweeter than MMS? (Reuters 6/22/10), in oil industry parlance, BOE already stands for “barrels of oil equivalent.” Does MMS want to make its name even more synonymous with oil production?

When you mess up, it’s easier to come up with a name that’s new

Rather than actually change what you do.

Blackwater renamed themselves “Xe”

(They should have been disbanded, it seems to me).

RJR-Nabisco felt they’d get better press if the RJR was dropped

(I’d prefer if their marketing to minors were stopped).

In an effort to deflect their blame,

Now MMS is trying the same.

I don’t like their new name,

So I propose a little game:

Help BOE come up with an improvement

(Maybe a good name will yield policy movement).


Here are a few other possible new names:

  • Commission for Ocean Kill, Environmental & Species Exploitation (COKE & SEx)
  • Bureau of Ocean, Navigation, and Enforcement Regulation (BONER)
  • Oil Industry Licensing Service/Bureau of Identification, Transformation & Commercialization (OILS BITC)
  • Emergency Commission for Oil Deregulation/Industry Self-Authorization, Self-Termination Energy Regulation (ECODISASTER)
  • Industrial Violations/Energy Commercialization Harmonization and Natural Gas Energy Division (I’VE CHANGED)

Here’s Rachel’s report on the rebranding.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Here’s the 6/22/10 Daily Show report about the rebranding (with some commentary on Gen. McChrystal thrown in at no charge).

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c
McChrystal’s Balls
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

Got any good ideas? Post them as comments.

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2 Responses to “Bureaus by Any Other Name (or, Name That Buffoon)”

  1. Newsericks » Blog Archive » Toxic Geysers Says:

    […] Bureaus by Any Other Name (or, Name That Buffoon) […]

  2. Newsericks » Blog Archive » Grand Oil Party Says:

    […] Finally, the bill codifies scandal-plagued MMS’s reorganization, […]

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