Blogology (or, The Blogosphere is Not a Sphere)

May 15th, 2010

Inspired by The polarization express (Washington Post 5/13/10). A Google search for “blogosphere” yields almost 11 million results, but I personally believe that more descriptive (and more accurate) terms are in order. Here are my humble suggestions.

“Stream is our middle name.” – Possible slogan for mainstream media (versus the “river” that the “blogosphere” has become)

A few years back, it wouldn’t even have been considered a contender,

But the “blogosphere” has now accepted the mainstream media’s surrender.

For those who thought the mainstream media would prevail,

The latter now seems to have become the blogosphere dog’s tail.

Given its newfound preeminence

(And all that that change represents),

I think we need a more accurate morphology

For our blogosphere terminology.

First, for those bloggers who are conservative,

We need a term that’s more descriptive.

Since it’s really only satirically

That one can refer to them spherically,

It’s both more realistic and fair

To call them the blogosquare.

As we move further to the right

(As I’m sure you knew I might),

We need a better term for the extremists

Of which the far right blogosphere consists.

Given the voracious nature of their agenda,

We should call them the far right blogaconda.

And finally, the liberal blogosphere

(To which you’ll find many references here).

Amorphous, disorganized, and constantly changing shape,

Dividing and re-combining (watch the videotape).

The liberal blogging world is more like an ameba,

So we should call ourselves the left wing blogmeba.

I’m proud to be part of the latter group,

Though I occasionally to conservative and moderate positions stoop.

The beauty of being a Democrat

Is that we’re allowed to have different views like that.

Republicans, on the other hand,

Are seeking to have all internal dissent banned.

Is the “blogosphere” responsible for that distinction

And the moderate Republican’s pending extinction?

Partially, I guess it is, you know,

Along with its analog, right wing talk radio.

Blogging has low barriers to entry and no accountability,

So there are zero standards of acceptability.

That contributes to coarsening of discourse and lowering of standards,

Where shock and claw become the new media standards.

Shouting heads compete to be the most extreme and shocking,

And for some bizarre reason, viewers come flocking.

(Ann Coulter and Glenn Beck are two samples

But there are many other examples.)

Would I trade it all to go back to the days

Of Walter Cronkite and network news’ good old days?

Would I trade cable news and the media’s atomization

To go back to being a more united nation?

Would I trade my blog (for what little it’s worth)

To go back to before talk radio and the blogosphere’s birth?

Yes, I’d happily trade away those things

To avoid the extremism that modern media brings.

But I wouldn’t want the rest of internet to suppress,

The importance of which rivals Gutenberg’s press.

Then there’s the issue of protecting free speech,

Even when the speakers hatred teach.

So I’m afraid the genie is out of the bottle,

And it’s too late the next Hitler as a baby to throttle.

But that doesn’t mean

We should let people be mean.

Though the blogaconda spews hate, we can’t be disagreeable while disagreeing.

And that, fellow Liberals, is the blogmeba’s reason for being.


In honor of the amorphous liberal blogmeba, here’s your ameba video (beautiful, isn’t it?), followed by your theme music for today, Don’t Be Square by Adam & The Ants (from the album Kings Of The Wild Frontier).


Here’s the trailer for the movie Anaconda (a lot of starpower in the first one, not so much in the others).

Check out this well done Youtube movie Johnny Benson’s Adventures in the Blogosphere. This is the trailer, but you can watch the whole thing on Youtube if you want (just click on “part 1” after the trailer). Also check out this highly rated book on the blogosphere’s development and influence.

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7 Responses to “Blogology (or, The Blogosphere is Not a Sphere)”

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