Bewitched (or, March of the Witch Hunters)

September 19th, 2010

Inspired by O’Donnell In 1999: ‘I Dabbled Into Witchcraft’ (Huffington Post 9/18/10 12:28 p.m.) and The Witch Hunter Anoints Sarah Palin (Huffington Post 9/24/08).

What is it about Sarah and Christine that their followers bewitches?

Maybe it’s because they’re both witches!

They both over supporters seem to cast a spell,

Surprising political observers by doing so well.

They’ve charmed us with their nice smiles and folksy wisdom,

While railing about how we’re all under socialism’s thumb.

Of course, they’re the good (and pretty) kind of witch, like Glinda or Sam

(Even though Glinda for politics today would be a little too glam).

Christine has even admitted she dabbled in witchcraft–

I have to admit, when I read that, I laughed.

But to many on the Religious Right, it’s no laughing matter,

Because witchcraft, you see, is a serious matter.

They believe in it, much more than they believe in “scientific theories

(That’s why they condemned the Harry Potter series).

For Christine’s supporters, her brief wiccan career

Is the youthful indiscretion that proves her conversion is sincere.

But if she were still a practising witch,

You can be sure her supporters her campaign would ditch.

With Sarah, her “dabbling” was with a Kenyan witch doctor (for real,

Not the one on signs at rallies, healthcare reform to repeal).

And though it to the rest of us sounds a bit medievel,

He used his supernatural powers to protect her from evil

(And also to help finance her vice presidential campaign,

A political act from which churches are supposed to abstain).

Why do many of Christine’s and Sarah’s supporters think witchcraft is real?

What does that about their belief system reveal?

Strangely, a lot of self-professed Chrsitians also believe in astrology,

But for some reason reject the science of geology.

I’m not the type to question someone else’s religion,

Even when it does seem filled with superstition.

But it does irk me when they question mine

Because my political views don’t with theirs align.

And that, in my view, is the greatest sin

Of many on the Pagan Religious Right who call themselves Christian.


Here’s Christine O’Donnell (back when she wore her hair up) doing a little “dabbling” in witchcraft.

Sorry, wrong video. That was actually a scene from an old episode of the classic TV series, Bewitched. Here’s the actual video clip, of Christine O’Donnell interviewed by Bill Maher on a 1999 Politically Incorrect episode admitting that she “dabbled into witchcraft” in her younger days.

Here’s Sarah Palin getting a blessing to protect herself from witchcraft from Pastor Thomas Muthee, an actual witch hunter from (oh my God) …Kenya!

Here’s your theme music, Sarah and Christine, the intro from Bewitched.

And here are two more applicable songs, No One Mourns the Wicked and March of the Witch Hunters from the musical Wicked. In the latter song, it’s instructive how everyone blames everything on the evil witch. But things aren’t always how they seem…

Update 9/20/10: Also check out Christine O’Donnell Jokes About Her Witchcraft Past (Huffington Post 9/19/10 5:24 p.m.).

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Posted in Religion, Republicans, What ails us | 2 Comments »

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2 Responses to “Bewitched (or, March of the Witch Hunters)”

  1. Newsericks » Blog Archive » I Didn’t Inhale… Satan Says:

    […] Bewitched (or, March of the Witch Hunters) […]

  2. Newsericks » Blog Archive » Guilty Feelings Says:

    […] with a coworker and said “I hope you crash into a telephone pole and die” and then she did, no one would think or suggest that your statement caused her death. But you’d feel guilty for what you said, […]

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