Because of Winning Dixie

March 13th, 2012

Inspired by Southern Super Tuesday today, and the candidates’ efforts to win in Alabama and Mississippi.

 

Mitt has been doing his best to affect a Southern drawl

And hopes to fight at least one state to at least a drawl.

He’d really like to win at least one state,

The aura of at least some Southern appeal to create.

 

Newt Gingrich, like me, is a Pennsylvania boy

(His talk about grits is just a ploy).

My background is actually more Southern that Newt’s,

Because my mom’s family has 100% North Carolina roots.

 

Rick Santorum talks about his Southern roots too

(Extolling links to the South seems to be all these candidates do).

He’s from PA like me and Newt, but trumpets his kin in Mississippi

(He didn’t show the picture of him in college as a dirty hippy).

 

Ron Paul is the only one not pandering

While from town to town meandering.

Ron didn’t even bother campaigning in the Southern Tuesday South

(He is, after all, living hand to mouth).

 

But with our panderers’ references to grits both continuous and inescapable,

They did show the level of thought of which they think Southerners capable.

Are Romney, Gingrich, and Santorum so callow

That they think Mississippi and Alabama voters that shallow?

 

We’ll see tonight

If they’re right

***

Here are Jon Stewart’s and Steven Colbert’s excellent 3/12/12 reports on Romney’s pandering. (Click here for more Jeff Foxsworthy.)

Here’s Martin Bashir’s 3/12/12 report (the clip of Santorum’s “Mississippi kin” comment is at the beginning).

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Here’s Hardball’s 3/12/12 analysis of today’s races and the candidates’ Southern pandering.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Here’s the trailer from the movie which inspired our title, Because of Winn-Dixie (also a well-reviewed book). Will Mississippi and Alabama voters “feel the magic”?

Update: Here’s Colbert’s 3/13/12 follow-up report on the intellectual level of the candidates’ Southern speeches. For more, read Kathleen Parker’s Getting lost down South (Washington Post 3/14/12 page A15). Also read my own follow-up piece, Algebra II.

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One Response to “Because of Winning Dixie”

  1. Newsericks » Blog Archive » Algebra II Says:

    […] mathematical impact of a Santorum-Gingrich alliance at a possible brokered convention, which after Mississippi and Alabama is now even more […]

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