Baloney Capitalism (or: One Bad Apple Doesn’t Spoil the Whole Bunch, Unless They’re Obama’s Apples)

September 24th, 2011

Inspired by Solyndra investors are sought for questioning in House inquiry (Los Angeles Times 9/20/11) and Rep. Henry Waxman’s statement at the Solyndra hearing yesterday.

 

“The government invested $535 million in Solyndra, a company with an obviously flawed business model that made no sense and had no chance of success. This proves that the government should not be in the business of picking winners and losers.” – The right wing echo chamber

 

“The private sector invested over $1 billion in Solyndra, a company with an obviously flawed business model that made no sense and had no chance of success. This proves that the private sector should not be in the business of picking winners and losers.” – Nobody

 

Mistakes are just part of life, when they happen to you.

When they happen to Obama, they prove all your criticisms are true.

 

Why is it you Republicans can’t seem to find fault

When private companies on their obligations default?

 

Why is it that when a private company makes a “mistake,”

You plead for them to be given a break?

 

Why is it that even when their “mistakes” break the law,

You refuse to recognize any systemic flaw?

 

Why do you refuse to consider the need for any regulation,

Mere suggestion of which fills you with indignation?

 

Why the constant hypocrisy

About incompetent government “bureaucracy”?

 

Don’t private sector bureaucrats make mistakes too?

(As anyone with health insurance knows, they do.)

 

And yet you never raise the specter

Of an incompetent, out of control private sector.

 

W. Edwards Deming started the movement

For the private sector’s continuous improvement.

 

That’s what Democrats want to do

With the public sector too.

 

That is, if you give Dems time to mend it

Instead of constantly trying to end it.

 

And quit the private sector infallibility baloney

Which even you should know is phony.

***

Here’s your theme music, One Bad Apple, by The Osmonds.

 

The second quote is made up since no one would ever say such a thing, but it is true that Solyndra did have private investors who invested over a billion dollars of their own money in Solyndra, as Rep. Henry A. Waxman (D-CA) stated 9/23/11 at the Solyndra hearing:

 

“As this investigation continues, one key question is whether the Department of Energy made a mistake in investing in Solyndra. Chairman Upton and Chairman Stearns say they already know the answer to this question. They said last week that Solyndra was ‘a bad bet from the beginning.’ A lot of smart people thought otherwise. In March 2010, the Wall Street Journal announced a ranking of the top ten venture-backed clean technology companies. Solyndra was number one on the list. Some very successful and experienced private venture capitalists invested over $1 billion in Solyndra – twice the support of the federal government. They obviously did not share Chairman Upton’s view.” – Henry Waxman statement at Solyndra hearing

 

NB: Waxman asked that representatives of Solyndra’s two main private equity investors (coincidentally, one Dem and one Repub-leaning, but guess which one Republicans have been citing as evidence of corruption) be asked to attend the committee hearing (they weren’t) or interviewed soon thereafter, which so far that apparently hasn’t happened.

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