Backward Christian Soldiers

February 15th, 2012

Inspired by The Daily Show’s report on women in the military last night.


“We have women once more wanting to be warriors and feminists at the same time…The sexual abuse report says that there’s been since 2006 a 64% increase in violent sexual assault. Now what did they expect? These people are in close contact. The whole airing of this issue has never been done by Congress, it’s strictly been a question of pressure from the feminists. …You have this whole bureaucracy upon bureaucracy being built up with all kinds of levels of people to support women in the military who are now being raped too much.” — Fox News contributor Liz Trotta


“I do have concerns about women in front-line combat, I think that could be a very compromising situation, where people naturally may do things that may not be in the interest of the mission, because of other types of emotions that are involved. It already happens, of course, with the camaraderie of men in combat, but I think it would be even more unique if women were in combat, and I think that’s probably not in the best interest of men, women or the mission.” – Rick Santorum on women in the military


“The problem is that sexual activity with people who you are in close quarters with who happen to be of the same sex is different than being open about your sexuality.” – Rick Santorum on why he wants to reinstate Don’t Ask Don’t Tell


Once again, the liberal media has missed the real story

Of Democrats’ attack on our military glory.


It’s obviously female soldiers’ and feminists’ fault

There was a 64% increase in violent sexual assault.


Just a few rapes here and there aren’t really crimes,

And women shouldn’t complain about being raped just a few times.


But those truths ignores the fact that there’ll

Soon be an even greater peril.


Just like female proximity for sexual assault is to blame,

Repealing DADT’s result will be the same.


With all those gays around, 64% of straight soldiers will turn,

A prospect that should fill all good Americans with concern.


And just like with the women, those gay emotions will create a distraction

And reduce troop effectiveness when they’re ordered into action.


But don’t worry—when Rick’s our new Commander-in-Chief,

Our beleaguered straight male soldiers will finally get some relief.


He’ll purge all those women and gays, just like before,

So our good Christian soldiers can march onward off to war.


Except that with Rick in charge, in contrast,

They’ll be marching backward into the past.


Here’s the Daily Show’s 2/14/12 report.

Here’s Liz Trotta’s full statement.

Here’s your them song, Onward Christian Soldiers.

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